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BB Landing page (thread closed)

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154208.1
Date: 8/14/2010 8:17:26 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
168168
Hmm.. I'm not sure if this should go to the suggestion forum, or this forum.

On one hand I'm looking to suggest some changes to the look of the buzzer beater landing page.

On the other I'm hoping people will give some feed back on the copy (language) used in the suggested change, or some one good with graphic work to help out before posting it in the suggestion forums.

I work with website advertising, writing the copy for it any way, so just gave revamping the language for the bb landing page a go for practice. I'm no graphic designer or anything like that so excuse the poor graphic work... I find the landing page a bit too cluttered with text... and perhaps not as exciting as it could be.

This is a first draft:
http://a.imageshack.us/img180/129/buzzerbeaterrevamp.jpg

but do tell me what ya'll think : )

This Post:
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154208.2 in reply to 154208.1
Date: 8/14/2010 4:15:27 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
522522
Looks good. But you need to mention that it is free to signup and play as this is a key point.

This Post:
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154208.3 in reply to 154208.1
Date: 8/14/2010 5:40:36 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
387387
I'm a long copy specialist, with some serious blue chips in my client credits. Your header sounds like you're recruiting for the army, your strap last sentence is wayyy too long and heavy but your paragraph proof point summaries are really quite good.

Trouble is, overall, there's far too much text for a landing page and the volume of information is too portal-like. It's more a page you'd see once you've clicked once to chase the scent of information.

Go and do it properly.



This Post:
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154208.4 in reply to 154208.3
Date: 8/14/2010 7:12:51 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
168168
thanks.
nice feed back... will tweak it some more... after paint ball lol...

This Post:
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154208.5 in reply to 154208.4
Date: 8/14/2010 7:19:45 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
387387
Ok ;-)
Remember (or bear in mind) that when you're writing copy that will be translated for Europe, you need to allow 30% extra character count space for the German and Russian translations.
El-M.

This Post:
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154208.6 in reply to 154208.5
Date: 8/15/2010 2:07:44 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
168168
http://a.imageshack.us/img96/8779/buzzerbeaterrevamp2.jpg

I figured jus keep the header simple, and push the USP - Bigger is better (or in this case bestest = P )
It still looks a bit text heavy if you ask me... hmmm.... oh ignore the '.' before '!' typo.

This Post:
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154208.8 in reply to 154208.7
Date: 8/15/2010 7:13:52 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
168168
guys.. I did mention I'm not a graphic designer :) so I don't have any fancy fonts except for the basic fonts that come with my laptop : )

So anyone willing to give it a go to fix the graphic work :P?

This Post:
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154208.9 in reply to 154208.8
Date: 8/17/2010 7:07:26 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
214214
As you said in the opening post, this is probably something more suited to the Suggestions forum so might be best to move it all over there for now :)