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Short film - check it out

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This Post:
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194890.1
Date: 8/23/2011 8:48:11 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
293293
I don't think I'm violating any forum rules posting this, but if I am I apologize and will take it down....

Some of you may have noticed from my forum signature that my latest short film, 'Billable Hours,' has been in some festivals this summer. Well, from now until September 10, the whole film will be up online as part of the NexTV Competition (where the winner gets to pitch their film as a TV show). If anyone wants to check it out (and vote for us), here's the link:

(http://www.nextventertainment.com/web/mini-competition/)
At the bottom, choose "Shortcut to the Finals," and scroll until you find 'Billable Hours.'

There have been some sound issues with people watching on laptops, so if you don't hear an annoying Blackberry buzzing sound within the first five seconds, check your speakers or go get headphones.

This Post:
00
194890.2 in reply to 194890.1
Date: 8/23/2011 9:09:43 PM
New York Chunks
II.2
Overall Posts Rated:
943943
Fancy. I voted for it! I like the parts when you can hear the copy machine as background noise, and I was cracking up when I heard the vacuum.

Don't ask what sort of Chunks they are, you probably don't want to know. Blowing Chunks since Season 4!
This Post:
00
194890.3 in reply to 194890.2
Date: 8/23/2011 9:17:53 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
293293
Thanks, glad you liked it!

This Post:
00
194890.4 in reply to 194890.1
Date: 8/24/2011 4:26:19 PM
Cruesli
DBA Pro A
Overall Posts Rated:
525525
Second Team:
The Milk
Very nice, you got my vote. The sound of the buzzing phone really creeps up my spine. Keep wanting to pick up my own phone to end it.

After 6 minutes it got a bit monotonous (yes short attention span here), but I guess that's part of the feeling that you're trying to get across...

Crunchy! If you eat fast enough
This Post:
00
194890.5 in reply to 194890.4
Date: 8/25/2011 8:47:41 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
293293
Thanks for voting! And yes... stressing you out a bit about your phone and the monotony of work was what we were going for, as well as making you laugh. Apparently we're a little sadistic, since we all seem to enjoy hearing people tell us that the film stressed them out.

This Post:
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194890.6 in reply to 194890.5
Date: 8/25/2011 3:09:57 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
137137
Pretty good...forwarded to my wife who is an ex-attorney (for largely that reason).

From: IronDoofus

To: RiP
This Post:
00
194890.8 in reply to 194890.7
Date: 8/25/2011 5:45:38 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
293293
Thanks for taking the time to watch and critique. I'm not going to try to defend the film, since you're perfectly entitled to dislike it. The only point I'd respond to is #3 - the lack of dialogue is intentional, the idea being that at a job like that a person can go through a day (week, month, whatever) without really talking to anyone, just going to work and going home without any human interaction, aside from the buzzing blackberry. It does sound depressing when written out like that... but I will say that lawyers seem to get a perverse amusement from it, so maybe you have to be a certain type of crazy to appreciate the humor?

From: chihorn

To: RiP
This Post:
11
194890.9 in reply to 194890.7
Date: 8/25/2011 5:46:10 PM
New York Chunks
II.2
Overall Posts Rated:
943943
Since I took the time to watch the video I feel I might as well critique it. I''ll be as honest as possible and try to get my points across bluntly.

1. I felt the pacing of the film is terrible; it's just far too slow. I'm not one that needs to see explosions and action every 5 seconds in order to be engaged in a clip, but if the pacing is going to be really slow, it has to build towards something. I guess the lawyer did get fed up and eventually threw her phone in the lake, but it was anti-climatic and predictable. It didn't take more than about a minute to understand that her job was monotonous and tiring.
2. It seemed more like a documentary than a comedy to me. Thousands of office workers are in a similar role to the main character in this film. Quiet, hard working people get taken advantage of and you see other, more social individuals, excel even when they're lazy (or a jerk). I just didn't get what was supposed to be funny. At best, the characters were slight exaggerations of real life people.
3. What's with the lack of a dialogue? Solid dialogue with a couple of jokes thrown in really could have been a nice addition.
4. I think the film was shot pretty well. Pretty good transitions from one shot to the next.

There you have it. That's my opinion, and that's all it is. Take it to heart or disregard it.


I will now critique your critique.
1. New York City does not have a lake, unless you count a reservoir in Central Park as a lake (we don't). This film is in Manhattan, which has the the Hudson River on the west and the East River on the east (though the East River is technically a channel, not a river). The cell phone was clearly thrown into the Hudson River. And the film did have explosions, but of the small emotional types that built into a crescendo. Explosions can be subtle and metaphoric.
2. People getting taken advantage of is funny. I'm a desk slave and it's a real riot. I'm laughing about my plight right now. Posting stuff on BB Forums during office hours is like me symbolically throwing my cell phone into the Hudson River. I'll go and retrieve the phone, but I'll keep throwing it back again and again. Really funny stuff.
3. I think the lack of any speech by the protagonist was a metaphor for her suffering in silence, like she doesn't have a voice in the world. She's just a tool to be used and nobody cares about her. Nice touch. By the way, is she looking? I might have a friend for her.
4. I like how you can sort of see the office window, but it's kind of glare like, as if it were maybe a prison cell.


edit: 2 typos. funny stuff.

Last edited by chihorn at 8/25/2011 5:47:38 PM

Don't ask what sort of Chunks they are, you probably don't want to know. Blowing Chunks since Season 4!