Disgraceful. Never in the history of the game has a team sucked this hard, blew this many chucks, and then sucked them up and blew them out again. I am absolutely ashamed to be from the same country as this team...this team of pantywaisted, snot-nosed, talentless, brainfarting, American arsemonkeys. Oh, wait...this is for the U21 team. You want the
National Team recap. Oh, wait...
Aaanywho, U21 is getting along quite swimmingly if you haven't noticed, extirpating Mexico 122-47 last night.
(17936) A little too swimmingly if you ask me....no one shows up for the USA games anymore since the wins are such foregone conclusions. Even playing the home team last night by the 3rd quarter the only people in the arena were the players, staff, me, and the increasingly drunk Salma Hayek transgendered impersonators that were the halftime entertainment. The curse of being 9-0, I guess.
I found Mexico center Ignacio Quintana signing various Hayek body parts after the game:
fewmit: 3-13 shooting? Girlfriend problems? Hangnail? What's the deal?
Quintana: Estoy tratando de firmar un pecho, idiota....
fewmit: For Christ's sake, I'm so sick of people speaking Spanish around here! You'd freakin think in Latin America they'd speak American. Or Latin.
Quintana: ¿Necesita un abrazo?
fewmit: Dude, just stay away from me with that sharpie....
Backup backup USA SG Dwain Withers looked like he needed some cheering up:
fewmit: 75 point blowout and you didn't even see the floor. Are you really that bad?
Withers: I think coach hates me.
fewmit: Don't think it's personal...magiker hates everybody with the demented rage of a constipated psychopath. Probably just hates you a
little more.
Withers: *sob*
fewmit: There, there. At least you didn't have a chance to screw anything up out there.
Wither: *SOB*
Whoa. Break off eye contact. Back away slowly. So, tune in next week when the U21ers play.....play....some other doormat Western Hemisphere team. Bolivaguay....Columbarica...Hell, like it even matters. Not that I'm complaining. Actually, this gig is starting to grow on me. The beer is cheap, winter in Mexico kicks ass over winter in Oregon, and I went to my hotel room last night with not just one, but
two Salma Hayeks.