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...in the Linndale locker room...

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? KYLE, YOU'RE SINGLE HANDEDLY SHOOTING US OUT THE GAME!!! NO ONE CAN GET THEIR OWN SHOT! YA'LL ACTING LIKE YA'LL ARE ALLERGIC TO DEFENSE!!! WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS?"

The locker room was in a state of shock. Nothing the coach has tried to ram through the team's mindset has gotten through.

"Maybe we ought to start the young guys and just develop them the rest of the season since none of you veterans seem to want to play. I can at least let the kids learn through their mistakes. You veterans have no excuse!" With that, Pio walked out the locker room.

"Coach", the GM asks, "he can't be serious, can he?"

"Pio is extremely serious right now, if they don't get their act together", Coach replies.

***Hustlas locker room***

"Now that's what I'm talking about. You guys came to play today," shouted Coach Boone.

"We are now playing for keeps. This is what I meant all along. Start big and go small. Work inside out. We have their defense confused. We are playing like one of the best today. Welcome back team."

The team laughs and shouts at this. "That new pf is playing some D. We'll get his name someday. But today, he is the pf. And his defense is solid," said some team members.

"Klin is balling out," said another. "The guards are playing under control," says an assistant coach to Coach Boone. "And that is what's helping us. This is our game. Up 15 at halftime. And we will keep playing hard. I won't be surprised if Linndale's coach is acting like I was last couple of games when losing. It finally feels good to be back on the other side."

Another assistant coach comes into the locker room and heads straight for Coach Boone. He whispers in the coach's ear.

"WHAAAAAAT!" shouts Boone.


Last edited by Reece at 12/14/2022 1:09:36 AM

Coach Boone storms into Bobby Sparks' office. "He transferred Jovanoski? The one offensive guy that is untouchable, he transferred him?" John Walton was sitting in the seat in front of Bobby Sparks' desk. And Bobby was sitting behind it. John Walton looked upset, and so did Bobby.

"Yes, I transferred him," said John. "I never meant for him to be on the transfer list. Now we have a team full of bigs and is one wing short."

"And a point guard John. Don't forget about that either," said Coach Boone.

"And a point guard," said John. "I am sorry. But it's done. I am looking at others, and hope to have a replacement soon."

"But none will be as good as he was," said Bobby Sparks. "But hopefully, Nick Williams steps up. And the bigs play big. We may have a shot after all. Though the fans knew and were not happy. We had bad attendance that game. Our next game is easy, but the league game after that will be a test."

"All of these test. The men came together today, and played like men. The PF came off injured reserve today and the team played like a team. And then you transfer three players, one of which was untouchable," said Boone. "Forgive me if I'm not in a testing mode. I'm pissed off. Find me players, or find a new coach."

Boone stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.

"Well, that went better than expected," said John Walton, tentatively.

Bobby Sparks just flared at him.

"I'll do my best," said John. "Because I know what will happen if I don't."

Bobby nods at John as John gets up, opens the door, and leaves.

...inside Pio Reina's office...

Pio: "Coach, I don't need the tape. I don't need numbers. I don't need a pep talk."

Pio was still seething after the lackluster team effort. To call this embarrassing would be an understatement. Coach said nothing. "All I hear is 'we want to run and play fast' but they can't even play slow decently. Individually, a collection of some pretty good talent. As a team, they absolutely stink this season. I can't figure them out. All I know is that the bigshave given the improvement I asked of them; there's more to be had, but it's coming, and the group is young. The wings right now look like a prisoner of the guards. The guards can't get untracked and they won't get out the way of the wings. The defense is just porous as hell,and neither one of us can figure it out this season."

Coach: " I don't hear any lies so far..."

Pio: "I don't have the answer to this puzzle, Coach."

Coach: "Yes you do. Trust yourself. You don't need data, you don't need to see the tape. And you don't need a damn pity party. You need to remember, this is your season to learn. So what have you learned?"

Pio: "I'm not having fun. The team isn't playing well or having fun."

Coach: "Sounds like a good place to start. Let's get back to having fun and competing. Just make sure you do it your way."

Coach walks out and stops by the GM office.

"Pio's fine. He just forgot two things. How much he hates not having fun, and how much he loves competing. The team isn't doing much of either, but I expect that to change. He knows we're not winning the league title, or the conference title. Heck, he doesn't think the playoffs are set in stone. I think he's figured out what he needs to do."

Coach walks out. The GM smiles.

"OK, Pio. Let's see what you got now; it's your team whether you admit it or not. Run it", he thinks to himself.

Pio startles him with a knock on the door.

"Boss, you got a minute? Let's talk strategy..."

Day 12 (Tuesday 13 December 2022) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Lion Rebels 115 - Sweaty Socks 68
BOBBBSBURGS 40 - The Philadelphia Spartans 123
Linndale 76 - Hustlas 100
San Dominica Warriors 85 - Żubr Białystok 73
Carolina Rebels 77 - The Ashkickers 111
Philly Dribble 88 - The Beer Bellys 107
209’s MostWanted 69 - Miami Cleo 89
BKDogs 74 - Motor City Waddupdoe 96

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 123 : The Philadelphia Spartans
Rebounds : 70 : The Philadelphia Spartans
Assists : 36 : The Philadelphia Spartans
Steals : 12 : Philly Dribble
Block Shots : 16 : The Philadelphia Spartans

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 30 : G. Gattoni (The Ashkickers)
Rebounds : 23 : P. Cater (Motor City Waddupdoe)
Assists : 11 : A. Llanos (The Philadelphia Spartans)
Steals : 4 : D. Santana (Miami Cleo)
Block Shots : 8 : H. Waffi (Lion Rebels)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : M. Smalls (Motor City Waddupdoe) (14 Points, 8 Rebounds, 8 Assists, 3 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 25
Shooting Guard : J. Medina (Motor City Waddupdoe) (20 Points, 3 Rebounds, 6 Assists, 0 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 23
Small Forward : H. Waffi (Lion Rebels) (22 Points, 8 Rebounds, 8 Assists, 2 Steals, 8 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37
Power Forward : F. Taylor (The Philadelphia Spartans) (20 Points, 13 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 35
Center : P. Cater (Motor City Waddupdoe) (17 Points, 23 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 2 Steals, 1 Block Shots), S. Asulin (The Philadelphia Spartans) (22 Points, 14 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 39

MVP of the evening
P. Cater (Motor City Waddupdoe) (17 Points, 23 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 2 Steals, 1 Block Shots), S. Asulin (The Philadelphia Spartans) (22 Points, 14 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 39

The bad performance of the evening
T. Hewitt (BOBBBSBURGS) (5 Points, 2 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots), : Efficiency : -10

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : M. Granja (San Dominica Warriors), S. Hatch (Żubr Białystok), J. Segovia (The Beer Bellys) : 5 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : I. Gamón (Motor City Waddupdoe), F. Brasilino (BKDogs) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : A. Gallucci (Miami Cleo), A. Bueno (Sweaty Socks), H. Waffi (Lion Rebels), S. Hatch (Żubr Białystok) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : J. Dotson (Sweaty Socks) : 4 Three points

The best performer : S. Klin (Hustlas) : Rating : 16.5

The worst performer : K. Porter (Sweaty Socks) : Rating : 1.5

"Happy Ourer with Pio Reina after tonight's BBM victory, and Coach, I gotta ask you, what was the difference between last nights' loss and tonight's win?"

Pio: "You mean besides the scoreboard, the style of play, the effort, the accountability, and the fear of coming back to the locker after another loss? Absolutely nothing."

Happy: "Is there anything going on with Nick Guevara? we've noticed him coming off the bench the last two games."

Pio: "We will do whatever is necessary to improve the team. To be clear, Nick hasn't lost the starting power forward job. Nick is coming off the bench because his scoring ability is more important off the bench. As far as other moves go, no Lutz hasn't lost the starting job at small forward. Yes, things are fluid rotation wise. Yes, other moves may be coming. No, we're not done yet."

Happy: "Coach, it seems that you've answered my next few questions. Any chance you'll be looking at the rookies and young bucks on the roster?"

Pio: " Yes. Primarily that'll be what the scrimmages are for. If we can sneak them into a regular season game, we'll try if the matchups appear amenable. As to the question about our age, Happy, we have 3 26 year olds and 4 25 year olds. The other 7 guys on the roster range from 19 to 22 years old. They are ALL young bucks on our roster."

Happy: "There you have it, folks! Coach, thank you for your time. We'll be back on WINO radio with the Linndale Basketball Report after a word from our sponsors."

Pio: "What's so important that you pulled us off the practice courts to talk with us?"

Coach: "I have to admit, that's highly unusual around here."

GM: "I just got new marching orders from ownership. I thought I'd make you aware. We are looking at a couple of moves to fix the weaknesses on the team. I can't guarantee anything, but here's what we're looking at."

*slides manila folders to Coach and Pio*

Coach: "I don't get it. Neither of these moves will put us in contention for the league title."

Pio: "No, but they strengthen the bench, maybe lights a fire under some younger guys, gives us injury protection, and these are knowledeable guys. Ownership is saying we need some vets to help guide the team."

GM: "Exactly. Their experience just might be the difference between winning a postseason game or two."

Coach and Pio: "Or two?"

GM: "Ownership thinks we can make the Big 8 conference finals. I disagree; I think he's ahead of himself, but he signs the checks..."

Coach: "So he sets the expectation."

Pio: "This changes things. Coach, we're gonna have to accelerate some things and I'm not sure we can."

Coach: "We'll figure it out. Let us know when these possibilities come to fruition?"

GM: "As always."

Pio: "Thanks."


A few hours later, Pio hears a knock on the door. "Come on in," he yells.

In walks Coach. "I think we have to get these guys over to the scrimmage. You coming?"

Pio: "Yes sir! Welcome to the team, gentlemen!"

Coach: "Oh, and we're taking the big bus. I figured you'd want the entire roster to show even if they're not in the game tomight."

Pio: "You always could read my mind! We'd better get a move on!"

Last edited by Speedtraps at 12/15/2022 5:44:34 PM

Week Six Power Rankings
The week before the all-star break has brought us an even more muddled picture in the Big 8, while the Great 8 is trying to establish a sense of hierarchy with a strong divide between the top and the bottom, with a sense of order and peace at the top (though Hustlas is doing everything they can to shake it up, as is their nature). On the other side, there's contention between the top five teams and what looks like a lonely man on an island and then the bottom of the pack.

1. San Dominica Warriors (1)
Coach Stephenson's crew improves their hold on the top by moving their OPP EFFG to the top of the ranks from 3rd last week and maintaining a firm grip on 1st in EFFG with 132.5. They put on a show last Saturday, trouncing Hustlas with 39 points in the second quarter enroute to 37-point victory on less effort before taking care of business on the road against whitestok's Żubr Białystok, maybe making it closer than necessary by running the Outside Box+1. They finally lost a Cup game last week in a nail-biter, losing by one in a frenzied last minute where neither team scored after a free-throw went in to steal the victory from the Warriors. This Saturday is probably the premiere matchup of the week as they host the 11-1 Ashkickers before the break.

2. The Beer Bellys (2)
Clinging to the number two spot even though they added their 4th loss of the season on the road to 209 by two points in overtime on Paulinho Brito Gomes last second (but not BuzzerBeater) shot. But the game ended in a bit of a controversy, as with one second on the clock after The Beer Bellys full time out, they were whistled for a shot-clock violation when that second expired. It didn't get a lot of attention, though, because thatguy was passed out in the owner's box after finishing off a keg all by himself. Despite the controversy, they turned it around on Tuesday and took advantage of Philly Dribble's Huddleston injury, defeating them by almost 20 points, largely thanks to the 33-rebound discrepancy between the teams. A good matchup against Carolina on Saturday will either help cement their place in the Great 8, or provide a chance for one of the lower teams to take a step forward in the standings.

3. Miami Cleo (6)
Miami is the team that makes the greatest leap so far, thanks in part to an adjustment I've settled on when trying to calculate their EFFGs. Rather than assigning a standard value for their win against Zubr in the walk over, I've decided to calculate their "extra" game by the value of the other team's average EFFG and OPP EFFG. I don't know if that's right or wrong, but at the very least, it adds some flair and discrepancies to bitch about. ;) Unlike The Beer Bellys, it's a bit easier to prop up a 10-2 team as the 3rd ranked team in the league.

Two wins this week for Miami, with a domination against BKDogs followed by a welcome handling of 209 at home by 20 points. They trotted out a Low Post strategy for only the 2nd time this season and it worked again for them as they held the 209's to only 68 total efficiency while shooting 46.7% from the field. A critical cross-division matchup Saturday against Philly Dribble should answer some questions.

4. Philly Dribble (3)
At the very least, I'm glad The Beer Bellys beat Philly solely so I don't feel so bad for ranking Philly below them. I'm still trying to figure out what thatguy spiked Phil_Wings with before the game to get him to tank that (aside, of course, from what looks like a crippling blow by losing Huddleston for a few weeks). It's a rare two-game losing streak Philly is on as they head into their matchup with Miami at home, losing to The Ashkickers before succumbing to the Bellys. On the plus side, they've got what looks like a winnable Cup matchup as they remain one of only three teams still in the American Cup.

5. The Ashkickers (4)
How do I explain to Tylormade my continued disrespect of his team which boasts the best record in the league, who build both Philly Dribble and Carolina Rebels this week, and is in the middle of a 9-game winning streak? Well, for starters, their EFFG of 110.8 is only good for 8th in the league...and so, even though they boast the 2nd best OPP EFFG (60.9), the averages balance out and they find themselves just slightly behind Philly in these rankings. They've got a big opportunity this weekend, however, as they travel to San Dominica. If they take down the Warriors, will I finally put them where they (probably) rightfully belong in these rankings next week? (No, because I don't do rankings during the all-star break, silly cat).

6. Linndale (6)
Despite dropping a few points in both EFF categories this week, Linndale remains 6th in these rankings, though they're stirring the pot a bit, bringing in a 39-year-old Spaniard from Greek Div III after a dominant performance last weekend against the Spartans followed by a drubbing handed out by Hustlas where SG Kyle Knoles shot a pathetic 21% from the field on over 1/3 of the team's total shots. They look to turn it around against Żubr Białystok at home before the break after dropping to 4th seed in the Great 8 with an 8-4 record.

7. Hustlas (7)
Reece's boys maintained course this week even though they dropped that game of #3 matchups to the Warriors by taking it out on Linndale three days later. Sławek Klin slid over to center for the matchup and was 9-11 from the field with 4 more free throws and 15 total rebounds while they had good support from three other starters and backup PG all hitting double digits in points. Their pre-all-star matchup is a cake walk against BOBBBSBOTTS and they've been wheelin' and dealin', selling off three players on the 13th before bringing in 35-year-old Mikelis Slakteris. The Latvian native slots in at PF, but has filled the center role primarily for the Div III Spanish squad Les Bories, which is French for "The Bories", whatever that means.

8. Carolina Rebels (8)
6, 7, and 8 ranks stay the same this week, and while Carolina's 9-3 record ties for the top of the conference, their point differential says otherwise, slotting them 3rd in the Big 8. While they suffered their third defeat against The Ashkickers on the road summarily, they were able to handle then 5th seeded Żubr Białystok, winning by 18 points at home. Next up, the surprising Beer Bellys at home in what should be an intriguing matchup and will matter for seeding purposes on both sides of the bracket.

9. 209's MostWanted (10)
Bumping up a spot this week, 209 continues to have an up and down season, winding their way to .500 with another win/loss combination this week, first knocking out The Beer Bellys on that last second shot to win in OT before succumbing to Miami, scoring only 69 (nice) points on the night. They get to play host to Motor City Saturday night and will most likely be looking forward to seeing how Nerijus Kackis, the big man from Lithuania who they pulled in with a $300k bid from Div II Lithuanian squad PLUMBERS VILNIUS B.C. He immediately becomes their highest paid player and should slot into the starting lineup for them.

10. The Philadelphia Spartans (11)
We've reached the sub-500 teams in the rankings, and despite selling off two high salaries recently, the Spartans are hanging on to the top of this tier, thanks in part to their bot match up with BOBBBS, despite getting trounced by Speedtraps' crew last weekend by nearly 40 points. They look to maintain their ground in a matchup against the lowly Lion Rebels on Saturday before the break, relying on Gilberto Romão to lead the way to victory.

11. Żubr Białystok (9)
Whitestok's group is in the midst of a four-game losing streak after getting back to .500 on the season, suffering losses to Carolina and San Dominica this week. And while they were somewhat competitive against the Warriors, there's something a bit off about this group this season. But they're still in the Cup with an upset victory over 97th ranked Minnesota Mean Machine last night. They face off against Linndale on the road this weekend before the break, which doesn't look like a promising matchup for them to improve in the standings.

12. Lion Rebels (12)
It looks like a fire sale is happening over here, but it could just be that the transfer market is ridiculous right now. Either way, a shift appears to be in the works for the Lion Rebels who've settled into their 4-8 record, and it appears they've given up hope for the playoffs, sacrificing those chances on the altar of the Cup this season. They host the Spartans on TV this weekend and it's rumored that if certain players don't sell (here's looking at you Fabio) and they pull off a win, they might alter their course and try to stick around. But a loss this Saturday all but assures they head for the cellar to retool their roster.

13. Motor City Waddupdoe (13)
12-16 in these rankings appear pretty well set in stone, but Motor City saw improvements in both categories this week, though not enough to move the needle in any direction. Still, improvement is improvement. While they lost to Lion Rebels, they were able to easily handle BKDogs, making the gap between 14 and 13 look larger than just one number. Next up is 209's on the road, which will most likely leave them stuck at 3 wins until the start of 2023 when they host Sweaty Socks.

14. BKDogs (14)
Another week, another two losses for BK, getting hammered by Miami last weekend and then struggling to put forth a competitive effort against Motor City. Bot game this weekend for them, though, so they should notch win number two on Saturday. Either which way, their relegation matchup prospects don't look promising, but a lot can change between now and then.

15. Sweaty Bots (15)
And botified. Too bad.

16. BOTTTSBURGS (16)
Oh well.

Three teams still left in the Cup - pretty good for the final 64 group! Have a good weekend and I'll try to post some all-star predictions a little later.

Season 59 All Star Predictions
Much like my power rankings, I base these all-star predictions on player efficiency for the season (for the most part - there are a few instances where potential all-stars are not in the top twenty of player efficiency, at which point I "resort" to player ratings, and in a couple of instances [Big 8's backup SG, SF*] I had to resort to actually looking at statistics and comparing them. Ugh.). Each player listed will show their efficiency on the season behind their name, followed by their overall league ranking.

*SF was HARD. First off, Coach Stephenson didn't do me any favors by alternating Luís Alberto Baião and Mário Granja back and forth between SG and SF, with both playing 6 games apiece at each position. Neither are ranked in the top 20 in EFF or AR, but they both had the highest EFF rating out of my options, but I penalized them for not playing enough games at the position. Who knows if that'll work out for me? After those two and Paul Lutz and Murin/Gatto in the Great 8, the drop off for SF in both divisions is pretty incredible. Which makes sense, in a way, as it seems like SF is the hardest position to train up.

Big 8 Starters
PG: Trent Begley: 18.4 EFF - Carolina Rebels - 14th in EFF | 11th in Average Ranking (AR) - 14.1
SG: Mário Granja: 17.3 EFF - San Dominica Warriors - 20th in EFF | Unranked in AR - 12.8
SF: Juljonas Glicas: 22.3 EFF - Philly Dribble - 9th in EFF | 6th in AR - 14.4
PF: Jérome Bégin: 22.4 EFF - San Dominica Warriors - 8th in EFF | Unranked in AR - 13.3 | Last season's SF Starting All Star
C: Dewayne Allen: 24 EFF - Carolina Rebels - 2nd in EFF | Tied 20th in AR - 13.6

Great 8 Starters
PG: Damon Santana: 14.8 EFF - Miami Cleo - Unranked in EFF | Tied 20th in AR - 13.6
SG: Juan Gilberto Segovia: 16.1 EFF - The Beer Bellys - Unranked in EFF | 17th in AR - 13.8
SF: Graziano Gatto: 18.7 EFF - The Ashkickers - 13th in EFF | Unranked in AR - 12.8
PF: Patrick Cheatle: 24.5 EFF - Miami Cleo - 1st in EFF | Unranked in AR - 12.1
C: Clark Riggins: 22.7 EFF - Żubr Białystok - 5th in EFF | 4th in AR - 15.1

Big 8 Backups
PG: Miguel Velasco: 15.7 EFF - Philly Dribble - unranked in EFF | 5th in AR - 14.8
SG: Max-Phillip Woesler: 12.4 EFF - Philly Dribble - Unranked in EFF & AR
SF: Paul Lutz: 12.6 EFF - Linndale - Unranked in EFF & AR
PF: Jérome Bégin: 22.4 EFF - San Dominica Warriors - 8th in EFF | Unranked in AR - 13.3
C: Terry Armstead: 23.7 EFF - Lion Rebels - 3rd in EFF | 1st in AR - 16.5

Great 8 Backups
PG: Lorenzo Rojas: 14.9 EFF - The Ashkickers - Unranked in EFF & AR - 13.5
SG: Arys Varpukevicius: 16.3 EFF - Miami Cleo - Unranked in EFF | 19th in AR - 13.7
SF: Marko Murin: 18.2 EFF - Miami Cleo - 15th in EFF | Unranked in AR - 13.2
PF: Sławek Klin: 22.6 EFF - Hustlas - 6th in EFF | 2nd in AR - 15.2
C: Yüce Semiramis: 20.8 EFF - The Beer Bellys - 11th in EFF | Unranked in AR - 12.4