So the playoff picture is shaping up, and let's (and by "let's," I mean the "us" part of that contraction to refer to the two voices in my head and my four imaginary friends (all of whom, for those keeping track, are named Tony)) take a moment to see how everyone stands.
Big 8
Pos W-L PF PA (%) PD
1 I'll Replace You With Maflippinchines; 14-5, 1822 1563 (0.737) +259
--My glorious Machines have managed to clinch a playoff spot again. In your faces. Up next: TARD, @MNT, @NYJ
2 W&C Bball Club; 11-8 1743 1676 (0.579) +67
--squeakrico would need to lose his last 3 games while Tacoma wins all 3 and makes up 84 points of PD. I think they're in, since they control their destiny Saturday night against Tacoma at home. Win & they're in. Up next: TAC, @PHA, SLD
3 Knicktardeder; 11-8 1831 1820 (0.579) +11
--Not as easy a road as W&C, but would still need to lose all three remaining while Tacoma & Azariah streak to the playoffs. Coinflip here. Up next: @MAC, NYJ, @MNT
4 Slashing Dragons; 10-9 1691 1652 (0.526) +39
--On the cusp, but nothing is guaranteed for Hansen, and there's a rough stretch ahead. Next: PHA, @TAC, @W&C
5 Tacoma Sabercats; 8-11 1632 1649 (0.421) -17
--Control their own destiny, and will have to fight to get in the playoffs, or, if nothing else, to get the hell out of 5th. It doesn't help that his last 3 matches are against the other teams trying to earn/clinch a playoff spot. Next: @W7C, SLD, PHA
6 Imperial Phantoms; 8-11 1598 1657 (0.421) -59
--Not out of contention yet, but basically has to win out to make it in, and hope for some help as well. Last three: @SLD, W&C, @TAC
7 New York Jests; 7-12 1796 1815 (0.368) -19
--Mathematically eliminated from the POs, probably because they suck eggs. Last 3: MNT, @TARD, MAC
8 Midnight Tokers; 1-18 1556 1966 (0.053) -410
--Clinched the last spot, and probably the #1 draft pick (unless by some miracle they win out and SBCT keeps losing). Well done. Final 3 games in II.4: @NYJ, MAC, TARD
Great 8
1 Salisbury Auerbachs 17-2 1686 1262 (0.895) +424
--Clinched a playoff berth, of course, can clinch HCA throughout the POs with a win on Saturday (though even if they lose the next three and TF wins out, I doubt TF can make up that PD), Edju is likely everyone's favorite to win the whole damn thing and steal your canned goods and your grandmother's borscht recipe along the way. Last 3: TF, @PEN, SBCT
2 Technical Fouls 14-5 1729 1587 (0.737) +142
--Clinched a PO berth. Can likely cruise to the #2 finish by TIEing the rest of the way out, if so inclined. Up next: @SAL, SBCT, PEN
3 Dog River Riverdogs 12-7 1524 1420 (0.632) +104
--Pappy decides his own destiny, but a tough road in. Last 3: GK, @PBS, @ROY
4 Grim Koalas 12-7 1596 1573 (0.632) +23
--Simultaneously fighting for a Cup trophy and a spot in the POs, Toonces has to aim his focus somewhere. Last 3: @DOG, ROY, @PBS
5 Phoenix Blue Suns 10-9 1821 1735 (0.526) +86
--PD may be PBS's key to the post-season, though he needs help from Pappy & Toonces. Two games out of both 4th and 6th, it'll be interesting to see where they wind up. Last 3: @ROY, DOG, GK
6 Pennsylvania Quakers 8-11 1606 1610 (0.421) -4
--Mathematically eliminated from the POs, but finding safety in a 5th place finish isn't out of the question. Can't finish worse than 6th, unless Challengers make up a heap of PD in the last 3 games. Next up: @SBCT, SAL, @TF
7 Royal Challengers 5-14 1508 1832 (0.263) -324
--Out of the playoff picture, but still fighting to stay up and maybe even steal HCA in the relegation POs. Last 3: PBS, @GK, DOG
8 SBCT Rebels 4-15 1390 1712 (0.211) -322
--Still has plenty of chance to avoid auto-relegation, as their PD is decently on par with Challengers and all they need is one win to make it interesting. Do they choose the draft and another season in III or another season in II and the draft? Last 3: PEN, @TF, @SAL