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Week Two Power Rankings - Part IV
(obviously got too wordy this week for four parts!)

5. San Dominica Warriors (4)
After a loss to start out the season, the Warriors (as expected) have rebounded nicely to a 3-1 start, including a 21-point victory over Linndale on Saturday night followed by a barn burning event at home against Philly in which both teams combined for an overly dramatic 264 points with the only downside being Philly only scoring 17 points in the second quarter. It was still a fantastic matchup with shooting guards Sebastien Rigaux and LAB Baiao going back and forth all night for 38 and 37 points respectively with both shooting pretty lights out all game. The Warriors host southpaw this weekend before taking a trip to F.Day's Graveyard arena.

4. F.Day Internet Lovers Club(5)
Mc KR leapfrogs the Warriors despite a 2-point difference in Point Differential (PD) leaving them a slot below them in the Big 8 standings. They had a bit of an easier week, however, holding Vegas to just 64 points on the road before devouring Linndale's tricky Low Post approach on Tuesday night, though they didn't necessarily keep Floyd Hearn from getting his, they were able to basically shut the rest of the team down and coasted the whole game to victory. We'll get to see how much of a fraud the Lion Rebels are on Saturday as they host the Internet Lovers Club (rumor has it the Bobblehead night theme is the Kardashians), before they host a battle at the Graveyard when the Warriors roll into town.

3. southpaw army (2)
Listen, I'm as stunned as you are that this army is still somehow below my Rebels - and not only that, that they've dropped a place as well! They do, however lead the Big 8 with their undefeated record and have the second-best PD thus far. Despite 209's efforts last weekend, the army proceeded to close out the 2nd half with 67 points while holding their opponent to just 46 to ensure their victory and then followed up that effort with a dismantling of Las Vegas at home. Next up, two fights with the number 3 and 2 teams with a road trip to San Dom before hosting the Rebels.

2. Lion Rebels (1)
A somewhat surprising 20-point victory on the road against Philly was followed up by staving off an eager MostWanted crew this week to remain undefeated. But rolling into a match up with F.Day and southpaw feels a bit daunting. Looking forward to being 4-2 come this time next week!

1. Tasty Tardsicles (7)
A monumental leap from 7th to 1st in these rankings is a result of the botification of he who shall not be named (because of disappointment and not fear) which resulted in a 29-point increase in EFFG and 36.5 decrease in OPP EFFG ranking them at the top of both categories this week. I do find it worth noting that last season at this time, Tasty was ranked 13th after being ranked 7th because of some vicious losses to Mindless and Zubr, but they've flipped it on its head this season. They're enjoying a 3-1 start after defeating both of those teams this week, but it may be short lived as they travel to Key Arena to take on the Super Sonics before playing host to Miami Cleo. Are the Tardsicles for real?

Only three more games until interconference play begins - best of luck in Week 3!

I was not prepared for this. Maybe Speedtraps had a better idea about how this season would start, but 0-4 is not a fun way to begin the season.

I wan't prepared for 0-4 originally, but I quickly surmised this had to be a season dedicated to the young guys. I knew I was going to need a point guard, and I can't say I was surprised by that.

Fortunately, Vegas is there to cushion the fall, but with Internet Lovers Club introduced to the Big 8 mix, it's looking like 6 extremely competitive teams with Linndale just on the outside looking in.

Vegas is no guaranteed win. We don't even know what we can hang our hat on. Well, maybe turnovers... I hate turnovers!!!

They have made some moves and they definitely have time to turn it around - a trip through the Great 8 might be the dose of medicine they need, though they have to travel to the 209's first before hosting Las Vegas in what should be their first win, if not their second if they turn it

If this team makes the playoffs, I'd have to consider this one of my best jobs. The Big 8 remains tough as ever; a three game deficit is larger than people realize in the Big 8. 4 games? 4games?!? That should be nearly insurmountable.

Nearly.

There's ALWAYS a chance.

Last edited by Speedtraps at 9/7/2023 4:13:19 PM

These continue to be awesome.

Unrelated but I am tilted I drew a D2 team in the third week of the cup and that weeks leagues games are against the other top two teams from the conference. TILTED!

Last edited by yohnst at 9/8/2023 8:49:34 AM

Yeah - I hate that early tough matchup, especially when the league games are more important (probably - some of us might say your Cup matchup is much more important! ;).

Somewhat bizarrely, I drew a div IV team whose manager name is Southpaw.

Insert "The Office: Identity theft is not a joke Jim" skit.

Transcript from the Coach Stephenson Show Thursday Evening

Charles:
Coach congratulation on the win over the Dribble.

Stephenson:
Appreciate that Charles. Anytime you can get a win in this conference, especially against an old rival like the Dribble, you relish it. But that was over 48 hours ago so now the focus is on the next game in front of us.

Charles:
Which brings us to the subject of my next question. Big game coming up against the Southpaw army. These guys have just taken the conference by storm already a couple of signature wins over Linndale, the Dribble, and the Outlaws. What is your take on this squad and their coach Yohnst.

Stephenson:
They’re a very versatile squad. They have some dangerous players. Particularly a dangerous guard in De Moraes, who if he keeps playing like he has we’re gonna have to start referring to him on first name basis. He’s been that good for them. He’s averaging what 23 points per game?

Charles:
24. He’s just behind Rigaux who you faced a couple of days ago

Stephenson:
And note that we didn’t manager to shut down. He still managed to have 38 points. So we’re goinna have our hands full trying to contain him. And they have some silverbacks in Kang and Kunyan, so we really have to be careful on our defensive assignments.

Charles:
Speaking of defense. We’ve yet to see you guys go zone this season. Any possibility of you going to it tonight and if not why.

Stephenson:
You know defensively Gordo and I are always considering every possibility. And speaking of assistant coaches. Hey Pio, I know you’re probably not listen but if you are. Thanks. Now thanks to you I got Hunt nagging me up almost every other night talking about how good he would be as a coach. Every other sentence. I know as much as Alnite! And I'm nicer! So thanks again for another additional headache to my life than the two you usually give me

Charles and Coach laugh

Stephenson:
Back to a serious note. We always consider the zone especially when you have defensive players like Ranger, Ali Baba, Tercero and East who can just be bloodhounds on the perimeter and still have good help defense. But nah we always consider its just been the matchups once Gordo and I look at them its just been the positives were outweighed by the possible burns. Now the zone would be really helpful since I do think the key is locking down that backcourt of theirs, a tactic we’ve done many times before against teams just as dangerous as this Southpaw team. (sighs) Not much I know to make of Coach Yohnst. We ran into each other at media day, you know said the typical things but no real giveaways into his mindset and style. So it’ll be interesting. Daisy she was the same way.

Charles:
She might be wishing right now she was having to go up against you. II.4 is a difficult. Difficult place to play in.

Stephenson:
You here trying to get me into trouble (laughs) You’ll have Baine get that cousin of his to do a hit report on us. Say we’re #1 or something and have a big target on our back.

Charles:
Very likely! He knows how much you hate it when the Report gives your teams high ranking (laughs). We’re be back after this commercial break.

Stephenson:
Note guys I’m not wishing Carolina was back right now

Last edited by Coach Stephenson at 9/9/2023 11:05:44 AM

Happy Ourer: “Happy Ourer with Pio Reina. Pio, the game against F.Day Internet Lovers Club was rough, but there was some promise. Talk about the game for a moment.”

Pio Reina: “We didn’t expect to rebound as well as we did. The steals and causing turmovers, we expected. The turnovers we had on offense are going to drive me mad. I’m not upset about getting so many shots blocked because we wanted to try and attack the rim; that’s going to happen. It was a calculated risk and it didn’t work out. The 17 turnovers? I just can’t with that.”

“Anytime we use the press we get killed on the boards, so steals and turnovers are how we try to alleviate some of that. I was actually pleased with the board work, and the steals and turnovers we caused went exactly as we planned. 17 turnovers though… Let me look at the positives here. I called out Nguyen last time he started because of turnovers. Nguyen had 7 assists, 3 steals and 1 turnover in 36 minutes. That’s improvement. Floyd Hearn was a monster out there, but I’m most impressed with his 3 assists, 1 turnover and 6 steals in 36 minutes. The problem was the other starters combining for 10 turnovers.”

HO: “Are things going to turn around, or is this a lost season?”

PR: “For the first time in a long time, we’ve lost 4 in a row. We kind of have to let the training dictate who plays for a bit. There’s probably going to be another roster move or two before this season ends. We have got to get to a point where the defense is up to standard and we’re not having to hide people. We’re not there yet with these younger guys. We’ve got to get a lot of the guys to work on their offense. Ball security is going to be the death of them or me; I’m not sure who yet. Still, the season is far from lost. We’ve just gotta find what this group of players do best and ride with that. Once they figure who they are, they’ll be fine… if I don’t have to kill them because of turnovers.”

HO: “How do you get better and make the team better?”

PR: “I like to listen and talk to other coaches and learn from them. Coach Stephenson said something on his show, and I just want to take the opportunity to respond. Air Allnite either puts up or shuts up. Given his task is to work with the guards, he’s off to an ok start. Just ok. We’ll see if and how he finishes up.”

HO: “About tonight’s game---”

PR: “We have got to get a win. Taking nothing away from 209’s Most Wanted, but we’ve got to beat somebody, right? The Big 8 is still loaded. It’s up to us to prove we still belong in the conversation about the good teams in the Big 8. That has to start on the defensive end; we’re giving up an average of 110 a game. That’s not how we roll. That’s not who we are. We’re better than that. It’s gonna start on the defensive end. It always does. If we can keep their back court from going off and handle business up front, we should be ok. That is, if we can take care of the basketball. We cannot give them extra opportunities.”

HO: “Thanks, Coach. When we come back from the commercial break it’s tip off time! Linndale and 209’s Most Wanted, coming up next!”

inside the Linndale locker room…

Air Allnite: “Kyle and Shooter had the strokes going. There just wasn’t enough offense going behind my guys.”

Pio Reina: “Your guys?”

AA: “Yeah, my guys. You brought me in to coach up the guards, didn’t you? Well Kyle has his stroke back after last season’s dreadful performance, and Tovar was pretty good himself shooting it.”

PR: “Your guys play for my team. You are an assistant coach on my staff. You would do well to remember that.”

Byron Helm: “Let’s talk about ‘your guys’, Air. ‘Your guys’ had 5 of the 11 turnovers tonight. Since the guards are ‘your guys’, all of your guys were responsible for 6 of the 11 turnovers. Cerri and Nguyen can’t shoot. McCain can’t get on the court. Petriukstis can’t either. ‘Your guys’ don’t help on the boards. ‘Your guys’ combined for a minus 26 overall tonight.

Marshall Richards: “I’m not gonna play your game, Air. We got too much to do around here to have to deal with this kind of foolishness. It’s ridiculous! We have to figure out how to get a win. This proud franchise is 0 for 5. I do not ever remember a stretch at any time when this team lost 5 games in a row ever. We are giving up an average of 112 points a game. We’re losing by an average of 19. This was our best offensive game of the season and we still lost by 10. You want to take credit for a performance? Take credit after you make the players better. IF you continue getting the guards better.”

PR: “This is a team effort, Air. We win together, we lose together. All of us. The guards can’t do it by themselves. Neither can the forwards. The centers can’t either. It takes everyone. So stop whatever it is you think this is you’re doing. Get Nguyen and McCain better. Get Cerri’s shot fixed. Get Shooter to improve on defense and Kyle to fix his turnover issue. Then, you have the unenviable task of fixing the overall turnover issue with the guards. While you’re at it, McCain and Nguyen have issues with their shooting also. Fix that, too. And heat up Petriukstis. Don’t forget about developing Donny. Seems to me like your plate is too full for you to be crowing about anything.”

AA: “You’re not ever going to let go of that are you?”

PR: “Want me to forget about that? You know what you have to do. Get on board, get to work, and get it done. All of it. No, it’s not easy. Nothing around here is. You should know; you spent a couple of years watching us on tv. This team, this conference, and this league is plenty tough. Are you the right guy for this job, or do we have to get someone tougher?”

AA: “You’re asking me to work miracles.”

PR: “I’m telling you to do the job you volunteered for.”

AA: “I didn’t volunteer.”

PR: “No one forced you to make that bet. Leave now, and you also lose any shred of credibility you thought you had. You’ve backed yourself into a corner. The easy way out is with us. Do the work. The results will come. You might even like it.”

AA: ”I’m still here, aren’t I?”

PR: "Get to work!"

BH: "Pio, you have to know we need another point guard."

PR: "We also need a small forward, and a power forward. We might even have the guys in house. We're 0-5. What do you guys say we find out if we can get these guys up to the task?"

MR: "We're still here, aren't we?"

BH: "Come on, Marshall; we'd better get back to work!"

Last edited by Speedtraps at 9/10/2023 5:01:10 PM

Day 5 (Saturday 9 September 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Philly Dribble 111 - Las Vegas High Rollers 104
Linndale 111 - 209’s MostWanted 121
F.Day Internet Lovers Club 72 - Lion Rebels 84
southpaw army 109 - San Dominica Warriors 93
Twotone Touloose 52 - Miami Cleo 95
Tasty Tardsicles 91 - Super Sonics 110
Żubr Białystok 43 - VileOnes 149
Fort Wayne Pistons 93 - Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 104

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 149 : VileOnes
Rebounds : 74 : VileOnes
Assists : 47 : VileOnes
Steals : 13 : VileOnes
Block Shots : 17 : VileOnes

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 49 : K. Knowles (Linndale)
Rebounds : 24 : C. Goldsmith (Super Sonics), J. Ledu (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️)
Assists : 10 : T. Rumin (209’s MostWanted)
Steals : 4 : J. Glicas (Philly Dribble), E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Block Shots : 5 : J. García de la Vega (VileOnes)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : C. Wui Kwong (Tasty Tardsicles) (31 Points, 6 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 31
Shooting Guard : K. Knowles (Linndale) (49 Points, 3 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40
Small Forward : J. Bover (VileOnes) (28 Points, 7 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 2 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37
Power Forward : P. Huddleston (Philly Dribble) (21 Points, 13 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 3 Steals, 1 Block Shots), K. Ramazan (VileOnes) (21 Points, 14 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 35
Center : J. García de la Vega (VileOnes) (14 Points, 17 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 5 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 39

MVP of the evening
K. Knowles (Linndale) (49 Points, 3 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40

The bad performance of the evening
H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok) (6 Points, 5 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -10

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : M. Watkins (Lion Rebels) : 9 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : P. Audier (Las Vegas High Rollers), F. Kang (southpaw army) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : I. Tabrizi (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), L. Melucci (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok), T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), W. Acevedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : K. Knowles (Linndale), U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons) : 8 Three points

The best performer : N. de Moraes (southpaw army), J. García de la Vega (VileOnes) : Rating : 18.0

The worst performer : H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok), W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : Rating : 2.0

Oh damn - looks like Miami went bankrupt and the sell-off of the squad is underway. Hasn't logged in for awhile too so I'd imagine they bot.

Changes things in the ol' league this season

Yeah - that's too bad. Having left this game once and come back, I hate to see it.