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inside the Linndale locker room…

Air Allnite: “Kyle and Shooter had the strokes going. There just wasn’t enough offense going behind my guys.”

Pio Reina: “Your guys?”

AA: “Yeah, my guys. You brought me in to coach up the guards, didn’t you? Well Kyle has his stroke back after last season’s dreadful performance, and Tovar was pretty good himself shooting it.”

PR: “Your guys play for my team. You are an assistant coach on my staff. You would do well to remember that.”

Byron Helm: “Let’s talk about ‘your guys’, Air. ‘Your guys’ had 5 of the 11 turnovers tonight. Since the guards are ‘your guys’, all of your guys were responsible for 6 of the 11 turnovers. Cerri and Nguyen can’t shoot. McCain can’t get on the court. Petriukstis can’t either. ‘Your guys’ don’t help on the boards. ‘Your guys’ combined for a minus 26 overall tonight.

Marshall Richards: “I’m not gonna play your game, Air. We got too much to do around here to have to deal with this kind of foolishness. It’s ridiculous! We have to figure out how to get a win. This proud franchise is 0 for 5. I do not ever remember a stretch at any time when this team lost 5 games in a row ever. We are giving up an average of 112 points a game. We’re losing by an average of 19. This was our best offensive game of the season and we still lost by 10. You want to take credit for a performance? Take credit after you make the players better. IF you continue getting the guards better.”

PR: “This is a team effort, Air. We win together, we lose together. All of us. The guards can’t do it by themselves. Neither can the forwards. The centers can’t either. It takes everyone. So stop whatever it is you think this is you’re doing. Get Nguyen and McCain better. Get Cerri’s shot fixed. Get Shooter to improve on defense and Kyle to fix his turnover issue. Then, you have the unenviable task of fixing the overall turnover issue with the guards. While you’re at it, McCain and Nguyen have issues with their shooting also. Fix that, too. And heat up Petriukstis. Don’t forget about developing Donny. Seems to me like your plate is too full for you to be crowing about anything.”

AA: “You’re not ever going to let go of that are you?”

PR: “Want me to forget about that? You know what you have to do. Get on board, get to work, and get it done. All of it. No, it’s not easy. Nothing around here is. You should know; you spent a couple of years watching us on tv. This team, this conference, and this league is plenty tough. Are you the right guy for this job, or do we have to get someone tougher?”

AA: “You’re asking me to work miracles.”

PR: “I’m telling you to do the job you volunteered for.”

AA: “I didn’t volunteer.”

PR: “No one forced you to make that bet. Leave now, and you also lose any shred of credibility you thought you had. You’ve backed yourself into a corner. The easy way out is with us. Do the work. The results will come. You might even like it.”

AA: ”I’m still here, aren’t I?”

PR: "Get to work!"

BH: "Pio, you have to know we need another point guard."

PR: "We also need a small forward, and a power forward. We might even have the guys in house. We're 0-5. What do you guys say we find out if we can get these guys up to the task?"

MR: "We're still here, aren't we?"

BH: "Come on, Marshall; we'd better get back to work!"

Last edited by Speedtraps at 9/10/2023 5:01:10 PM

Day 5 (Saturday 9 September 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Philly Dribble 111 - Las Vegas High Rollers 104
Linndale 111 - 209’s MostWanted 121
F.Day Internet Lovers Club 72 - Lion Rebels 84
southpaw army 109 - San Dominica Warriors 93
Twotone Touloose 52 - Miami Cleo 95
Tasty Tardsicles 91 - Super Sonics 110
Żubr Białystok 43 - VileOnes 149
Fort Wayne Pistons 93 - Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 104

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 149 : VileOnes
Rebounds : 74 : VileOnes
Assists : 47 : VileOnes
Steals : 13 : VileOnes
Block Shots : 17 : VileOnes

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 49 : K. Knowles (Linndale)
Rebounds : 24 : C. Goldsmith (Super Sonics), J. Ledu (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️)
Assists : 10 : T. Rumin (209’s MostWanted)
Steals : 4 : J. Glicas (Philly Dribble), E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Block Shots : 5 : J. García de la Vega (VileOnes)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : C. Wui Kwong (Tasty Tardsicles) (31 Points, 6 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 31
Shooting Guard : K. Knowles (Linndale) (49 Points, 3 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40
Small Forward : J. Bover (VileOnes) (28 Points, 7 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 2 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37
Power Forward : P. Huddleston (Philly Dribble) (21 Points, 13 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 3 Steals, 1 Block Shots), K. Ramazan (VileOnes) (21 Points, 14 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 35
Center : J. García de la Vega (VileOnes) (14 Points, 17 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 5 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 39

MVP of the evening
K. Knowles (Linndale) (49 Points, 3 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40

The bad performance of the evening
H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok) (6 Points, 5 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -10

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : M. Watkins (Lion Rebels) : 9 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : P. Audier (Las Vegas High Rollers), F. Kang (southpaw army) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : I. Tabrizi (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), L. Melucci (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok), T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), W. Acevedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : K. Knowles (Linndale), U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons) : 8 Three points

The best performer : N. de Moraes (southpaw army), J. García de la Vega (VileOnes) : Rating : 18.0

The worst performer : H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok), W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : Rating : 2.0

Oh damn - looks like Miami went bankrupt and the sell-off of the squad is underway. Hasn't logged in for awhile too so I'd imagine they bot.

Changes things in the ol' league this season

Yeah - that's too bad. Having left this game once and come back, I hate to see it.

Hey, I did the same thing - sooooo dumb. Would have had so much money to kickoff the rebuild I eventually did anyway.

Happy Ourer: “Welcome to the Linndale post game show, and it’s a victory edition! Linndale overcomes an early 10 point deficit and wins 100 to 90. Joshua Doe, tell the good people how it happened!”

Joshua Doe: “Kyle Knowles was an efficient scorer, Floyd Hearn was all over the stat sheet, and Maurizio Cerri could not be stopped. Kyle had 22 points and 7 assists, Floyd had 8 points 9 boards and 7 assists, and Maurizio Cerri just got to the rim whenever he wanted it seemed, on his way to a game high 31 points. Though Cerri was clearly the offensive star tonight, it was a team effort. Pemwieser came through with 13 points and 10 rebounds, while Rolland Reynolds had 4 points, 8 rebounds, a steal and 6 blocks.”

Happy Ourer: “I spoke with assistant coaches Air Allnite and Byron Helm earlier. Air said not to worry about the 3 point shooting because it remains a weapon. Byron said one of the goals is to get the team to attack inside from not just the bigs, but with the wings and guards as well. Byron says this will open things up for the shooters later.”

Joshua Doe: “I’d have to agree with Byron. From what I saw last season Linndale relied a bit too much on the 3 point marksmanship. The team is still dangerous from beyond the arc, but this attacking the rim we’re seeing, this could be a game changer for Pio Reina’s boys.”

Happy Ourer: “I’m sure Pio would agree if he could only get the turnover issue solved. 15 turnovers for Linndale and every single one of them by the starting unit. Pio is not going to be pleased.”

Joshua Doe: “The guy that’s going to be miserable is Air Allnite. Pio has tasked Air with the responsibility to solve that issue. Air Allnite has got to be pleased with the guards offensive output and efficiency, but the turnover issue is bad. If anything, I think they’ve regressed in that area.”

Happy Ourer: “Meanwhile, Marshall Richards has to be intrigued with Rolland Reynolds. He’s not shooting well or scoring, but he came out, hit the boards and defended. You’ve got to like a guy that finds a way to contribute.”

Joshua Doe: “Marshall Richards told me that they expect Reynolds to develop late offensively. Byron Helm said Reynolds looks like a former power forward, and he meant it as a compliment. He said he expects Reynolds to develop into the kind of small forward who plays like a bull in a china shop offensively.”

Happy Ourer: “Hitting the boards and blocking shots is a surefire way to keep getting opportunities.”

Joshua Doe: “You’re right, but you’ve gotta be able to score. You gotta defend, and you gotta score. This team has room to grow both on offense and on defense, but you have to figure that while off to a 1-4 start and not figuring in the playoff race as of yet, Pio is going to focus on player development.”

Happy Ourer: “Pio is going to try threading that needle of player development and winning. 2 games out of a playoff spot with a ton of basketball left to go means that Pio gets to develop players while playing in his lab with different combinations. We’re going to to commercial, and when we come back, we’ll hear from the Linndale locker room after the win tonight.”

Last edited by Speedtraps at 9/13/2023 7:28:01 PM

Day 6 (Tuesday 12 September 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Super Sonics 69 - Twotone Touloose 68
VileOnes 124 - Fort Wayne Pistons 108
Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 127 - Żubr Białystok 43
Las Vegas High Rollers 90 - Linndale 100
209’s MostWanted 124 - Philly Dribble 98
Lion Rebels 65 - southpaw army 88
San Dominica Warriors 67 - F.Day Internet Lovers Club 84
Miami Cleo 81 - Tasty Tardsicles 115

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 127 : Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️
Rebounds : 60 : Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️
Assists : 42 : Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️
Steals : 16 : 209’s MostWanted, Super Sonics
Block Shots : 13 : F.Day Internet Lovers Club

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 37 : E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Rebounds : 18 : J. Bégin (San Dominica Warriors), M. Lahaye (Super Sonics)
Assists : 14 : A. Guilla (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️)
Steals : 7 : T. Devine (Super Sonics)
Block Shots : 7 : W. Sitorski (209’s MostWanted)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : A. Guilla (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (22 Points, 11 Rebounds, 14 Assists, 6 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 49
Shooting Guard : M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (34 Points, 11 Rebounds, 6 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 43
Small Forward : J. Bover (VileOnes) (35 Points, 5 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 0 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 33
Power Forward : R. Raich (209’s MostWanted) (19 Points, 13 Rebounds, 4 Assists, 3 Steals, 1 Block Shots), F. Kang (southpaw army) (20 Points, 12 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 0 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 33
Center : M. Farnsworth (Philly Dribble) (25 Points, 15 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 35

MVP of the evening
A. Guilla (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (22 Points, 11 Rebounds, 14 Assists, 6 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 49

The bad performance of the evening
C. Crosby (Żubr Białystok) (6 Points, 1 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -13

Triple-Double of the evening
A. Guilla (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) (22 Points, 11 Rebounds, 14 Assists, 6 Steals, 1 Block Shots)

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : P. Audier (Las Vegas High Rollers), M. Cerri (Linndale), J. Thomas (Philly Dribble), D. Faust (Philly Dribble), A. Gallucci (Miami Cleo), G. Kirilovs (Twotone Touloose), M. Lahaye (Super Sonics), H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok) : 5 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : A. Norman (Las Vegas High Rollers), J. García de la Vega (VileOnes) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : M. Blanco (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), D. Branimirović (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), D. Ray (Super Sonics), M. Lahaye (Super Sonics), A. Guilla (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club), G. Kirilovs (Twotone Touloose) : 6 Three points

The best performer : C. Wui Kwong (Tasty Tardsicles) : Rating : 18.0

The worst performer : W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : Rating : 2.0

Whole reason my team started bad is i need better players lol and irl I was fired start of the season (8/28/23)been without a job for 3 weeks now but getting hired soon after drug test. Took my 401k out so I can pay my mortgage.
Back to the game, figured something was going to happen to a lot of teams this season. My team doesn't have a merchandise store yet and I'm doing OK. Teams that try to spend lavishly and don't have seats in arena or merchandise store eventually sell players or get took. My first team almost did that

Glad you landed on your feet quickly!

Week Three Power Rankings
Week 3 Observations
Three weeks into the start of Season 60 in the illustrious Div. III.11 there had been 56 total transfers. Last season at this point, we'd seen 70 transfers, with 42 players sold and 28 bought. There was an actual profit of just over $25k, mostly thanks to two players being sold by the tanking Lion Pride for $2.5M. The real numbers showed that we spent $7.8M on those 28 players while selling those 42 for just a touch more.

This season, [DISREGARD]we've only seen 48 transfers in total for a total deficit of $6.2M. 23 of those transfers were new arrivals where we collectively spent $10.8M while the 25 that were sold netted us a return of $4.6M[END DISREGARD]. I left that last part in there, because I wanted to show how big of a change Miami's bankruptcy selloff affected these numbers. So, picking back up from "This season," we've seen "just" 54 transfers in total for a total deficit of $2.5M. 23 of those transfers were new arrivals where we collectively spent $10.8M while the 31 that were sold netted us a return of $8.3M. Big spenders! Here are some stats from the transactions over the last sixish weeks:

Players Sold by Position
PG | Average Age: 30.6 | Total Profit: $2.92M | Number of Players: 10
SG | Average Age: 28.0 | Total Profit: $1.04M | Number of Players: 02
SF | Average Age: 25.4 | Total Profit: $1.39M | Number of Players: 08
PF | Average Age: 27.3 | Total Profit: $1.42M | Number of Players: 05
C | Average Age: 23.4 | Total Profit: $1.59M | Number of Players: 05

Players Bought by Position
PG | Average Age: 22.3 | Total Spent: $1.59M | Number of Players: 6
SG | Average Age: 25.4 | Total Spent: $3.92M | Number of Players: 5
SF | Average Age: 28.0 | Total Spent: $570 K | Number of Players: 4
PF | Average Age: 26.4 | Total Spent: $3.48M | Number of Players: 5
C | Average Age: 30.3 | Total Spent: $1.32M | Number of Players: 3

This week's rankings will be accompanied by some facts about each team's transactions for the season. Only 4 teams didn't have a single transaction while half of the division didn't bring on anyone new at all. Onto the rankings! Also, we're going in reverse (again) this week!

Week 3 Power Rankings
16. Żubr Białystok (16)
EFFG:16 | OPP EFFG:16

Number of Transactions: 0
Pre-bot Salary Total: $291.7K
Post-bot Salary Total: $29.8K

Fun fact: Technically, there were a bunch of transactions, but none that are countable for this post's purposes. But dropping 90% of salary is a pretty crazy ordeal, especially in this league.

15. Las Vegas High Rollers (15)
EFFG:14 | OPP EFFG:14

Number of Transactions: 10
Profit: $336.9K
Spent: $548.9K
Result: -$211.9K

Outgoing Salary: $32.0K
Incoming Salary: $186.1K
Result: $154K more total salary

Fun fact: Las Vegas brought in the highest paid player by more than $45k/week at more than 90% less than the second highest paid player coming in in Andrija Miljak. They also incurred the highest number of transactions but had an equal number in as out. But it hasn't resulted in that first elusive win as of yet, though Miljak has only played in one game thus far, but he's most likely being reserved for the Cup game this week.

14. Twotone Touloose (14)
EFFG:15 | OPP EFFG:12

Number of Transactions: 4
Profit: $1K
Spent: $130.9K
Result: -$129.9k

Outgoing Salary: $3,541
Incoming Salary: $21.1K
Result: $18.6k more total salary

Fun fact: All of Tee665's transactions were with players 24 or younger.

Week Three Power Rankings - Part II
13. Linndale (13)
EFFG:13 | OPP EFFG:11

Number of Transactions: 4
Profit: $888K
Spent: $324.9K
Result: $563.1K

Outgoing Salary: $109.4K
Incoming Salary: $18.2K
Result: $92.2k less total salary

Fun fact: new transfer PG Maurizio Cerri recorded three triple doubles in his second season for Italian club Panzerotti in Italia IV.2 and then was sold the following season, and again in Season 60, then again last season, before Linndale swooped in. In his short tenure, he's been sold for a collective $1,117,700!

12. Philly Dribble (12)
EFFG:8 | OPP EFFG:15

Number of Transactions: 1
Profit: $450K
Spent: $0
Result: $450K

Outgoing Salary: $81.3K
Incoming Salary: $0
Result: $81.3K less total salary

Fun fact: Phil_Wings offloaded 30-year-old Miguel Velasco after the start of the season. The $81k guard was bought up by Denmark's #4 team in the country Horsens Kasuars, which roughly translates to Horses Cassowaries...and I didn't know this, but a cassowary is a genus of large flightless birds chiefly from New Guinea and northern Australia that have a horny "helmet" on their head and are related to the emu. They're currently the number one seed in the Great 8 of the DBL and Velasco played back up PG in their last game, scoring 4 points to go along with 5 rebounds in 23 minutes.

11. Fort Wayne Pistons (10)
EFFG:10 | OPP EFFG:13

Number of Transactions: 0

Fun fact: No movement from The Mechanic on the transfer list since November 8th of last year which is all the way back at the start of Season 59 in Buzzer Beater time.

10. San Dominica Warriors (5)
EFFG:11 | OPP EFFG:9

Number of Transactions: 1
Profit: $38K
Spent: $0
Result: $38K

Outgoing Salary: $7,747
Incoming Salary: $0
Result: $7,747 less total salary

Fun fact: The Warriors lone move was to sell 22-year-old SF Ronnie Lindquist, purchased by League II.3 Romanian team dunarea oinacu, which references a commune Oinacu in the very southern part of Romania near the Danube River, which is the 2nd longest river in Europe and runs near Oinacu. Young Ronnie is currently playing occasional backup SF for the middling squad, playing in only one game for 13 minutes, but hitting his only shot for Oinacu Danube.

9. 209's MostWanted (11)
EFFG:9 | OPP EFFG:10

Number of Transactions: 0

Fun fact: Alex's crew went 2-0 last week, asserting themselves as the middle of the top tier, above both Linndale and Philly, whom they beat on the road by 26 points.

8. F.Day Internet Lovers Club (4)
EFFG:12 | OPP EFFG:5

Number of Transactions: 8
Profit: $95.8K
Spent: $4.19M
Result: -$4.1M

Outgoing Salary: $57.7K
Incoming Salary: $179K
Result: $121.3K more total salary

Fun fact: With seven new players coming in, F. Day could be said to have turned over their whole roster, which has led Mc KR's squad to a 4-2 record, which is good for third place in the Big 8. Three of their starters are new players in Piana, Branimirovic, and Blanco with an average salary of $41k, it looks like they may have picked the right time to pounce in the Big 8.