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Week Four Power Rankings - Part III
12. Miami Cleo (6)
I had to apply a manual adjustment to Miami's efficiencies since they're being walked over. It wasn't fair to have them maintain a 117.4 EFFG while losing 50-0 each game. So, I've applied a new formula to their calculations that will continually cut their efficiency scores down each week (they would've been 8th this week). Over time, they'll drop to 15th. My apologies to those who are still below them at this point.

13. Linndale (13)
Speedtraps crew has shown improvement in efficiency since the first week but find themselves still stuck in the lower fourth of these rankings and 8th in the Big 8. Floyd Hearn and Kyle Knowles have attracted a bit of attention on the transfer list, and we'll know by tomorrow night if they get moved. But Leo Genipabu looks to be moving on as does Christophe Nguyen, but there are still doubts that Serkan Sökmen will find a new team. Definitely a bit of heartbreak this week losing both games by a cumulative total of 10 points and now they turn their attention to VileOnes before hosting Mindless Zombies.

14. Las Vegas High Rollers (15)
A win! And 7th place! Followed by a walk-over win to give them two now on the season. Vegas has increased their EFFG and OPP EFFG by 14 each, but they're still not that close to competing closely on the reg. Next comes a road game against Super Sonics and then they have a chance to win a third game against Twotone at home.

15. Twotone Touloose (14)
The Touloose lost by a collective 117 points in two games this week and their EFFG has dropped 30+ points since week one. It's going to be a long rest of the season and that dose of reality should come when #6 in the Big 8 209's come to visit this weekend. They do have a chance to show out against Vegas, and that will be the game to tell us if they're going to have any life at all when it comes down to a relegation matchup.

16. Żubr Białystok (16)
Not much to say about bots!

Onward through interdivisional play - best of luck!

We are definitely moving Floyd Hearn, Leo Genipabu, and Christophe Nguyen. Promptly spent most of the Hearn money on a 23 year old injured power forward... who has game and room to grow. It doesn't look like Kyle Knowles of Serkan Sokmen are going to moved, but if one or both are, we have a plan in place. If they aren't, that's fine too. We'll have cut salary roughly $67,000 so we give ourselves a far better chance than we had financially (Floyd Hearn was worth the risk we took, especially getting him at the price we did and what he brought to the team).

Now we try to do it a little bit cheaper.

Also, The Bossy Little Girl is back home.

We did not expect to win before the game started. When the game started, we took the first quarter. We took the second quarter. We started believing we could win this game. Then the third quarter happened.

It would have been easy for the team to pack it up and go home. We lost the game, but we did not lose our fight. We lost the rebounding fight by 4. We more than made up for that with our steals and turnovers caused. Wee lost the three point fight, but then, they did what they should have and went 3-2 on us.

We're not that far away from competing at the level I expect. Ireneusz Koncki will be back on the court shortly. We just had our interior offense, defense and rebounding gutted, and getting Koncki on the court is a game changer in that regard. We will still be looking for the right pieces at the right price to add, but I feel like we're heading in the right direction.

Get your wins against us while you can.

Pio walked into the GM’s office with his assistants in tow. Everyone wondered why this meeting was called, but no one spoke a word at all. The GM sat at his desk with his back turned to the door, hidden by his oversized chair. That pinged Pio’s radar. This isn’t a normal meeting, he thought to himself. He looked at Marshall and Byron, who were on the same page as their former teammate. Something was off. Maybe not off; but definitely not normal.

Air Allnite was oblivious. This was not his normal environment. At least, it hadn’t been for years.

Coach turned towards the coaching staff. “Hey, I’m just the consultant, but no one was here, the door was open, and the chair invited me to sit in it. I need to get me one like this that reclines.”

After greeting his former players and politely welcoming Air Allnite, Coach spoke to assembled staff.

“I was asked to talk to you because some feelings might be sore. I know Pio is pissed. He’s just had his interior offense, defense and rebounding ripped apart for the second season in a row. I’d be pissed, too. Air, I don’t much care for you, but you got new point guards to work with. Make it happen with those guards. You wouldn’t have gotten them if the organization didn’t believe you were up to it.” Immediately, the entire staff knew something was up, but unsure of what exactly.

Coach noted this, and continued.

“Marshall, you might think you need some new toys, and maybe you do, but the organization thinks the parts we need are already here. Whatever they hand you, work to the player’s strengths. You’ll do fine, I’m sure. Byron, I hear you got new toys also. I think you’ll know what to do with them.” Coach patted Byron on the shoulder. He really was sure Byron would know what to do.

“Gentlemen, you’ll go ahead and open the folders in front of you.” Each folder was opened to a detailed, assignment specific scouting report. Air had the report on the guards, Marshall the wings, and Byron the bigs, while Pio had the report for each player on the roster. Each man took note of the handwritten note included.

“Gentlemen, if you need advice, you know how to reach me. My last act before full time retirement is to introduce your new GM. The previous guy got a promotion and is the new president of basketball operations.”

Into the room walked Roberto Gurgone. His former teammates were excited. Air Allnite was not a former teammate.

“Does this team ever bring in someone with a differing view”, he asked.

“You still have a job here, don’t you” Roberto retorted. Roberto wasn’t trying to make a new friend.
“Gentlemen, we have a retooled front court to integrate. I want to hear thoughts and plans."

Marshall just smiled. Byron smiled. Air appeared to smile. Then Pio spoke.

"Berto, I think we're gonna be okay. Gentlemen, we've got 4 games before the all star break. Let's see if we can cause a little chaos; just because we're in the basement doesn't mean we can't climb up out of this hole."

"Why are you targeting the break," Roberto asked.

"We win 3 of these, we're not out of the playoffs yet. We beat up on the Great 8, I know the Big 8 will be tougher, but they have to notice that, too. Slow starts do not change our expectation, expecially when our front office tells us 'we won't rebuild, we'll just reload'."

Day 9 (Saturday 23 September 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Las Vegas High Rollers 82 - Super Sonics 96
209’s MostWanted 115 - Twotone Touloose 60
Philly Dribble 87 - Tasty Tardsicles 128
Linndale 98 - VileOnes 107
Lion Rebels 104 - Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 114
San Dominica Warriors 127 - Żubr Białystok 21
F.Day Internet Lovers Club 111 - Fort Wayne Pistons 97
southpaw army 50 - Miami Cleo 0

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 128 : Tasty Tardsicles
Rebounds : 70 : F.Day Internet Lovers Club
Assists : 35 : San Dominica Warriors
Steals : 21 : Linndale
Block Shots : 11 : F.Day Internet Lovers Club

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 39 : E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Rebounds : 23 : I. Tabrizi (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Assists : 10 : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️)
Steals : 7 : K. Knowles (Linndale), M. Granja (San Dominica Warriors)
Block Shots : 6 : D. Branimirović (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : F. Lovaina (Tasty Tardsicles) (25 Points, 5 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 25
Shooting Guard : S. Brinkman (VileOnes) (32 Points, 4 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37
Small Forward : U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons) (26 Points, 12 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 36
Power Forward : D. Lin (Super Sonics) (26 Points, 20 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38
Center : M. Otçigin (San Dominica Warriors) (14 Points, 9 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 3 Steals, 5 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 30

MVP of the evening
D. Lin (Super Sonics) (26 Points, 20 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38

The bad performance of the evening
H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok) (0 Points, 6 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -14

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok) : 10 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : D. Boyce (Super Sonics), F. Randle (Twotone Touloose) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : 53 Minutes

The shooter : E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) : 7 Three points

The best performer : W. Acevedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : Rating : 18.0

The worst performer : W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : Rating : 2.0

No story or character development tonight. My turn at Ye Olde Medical Facility. I hate getting sick. I just want one normal week without any shenanigans from the real world. I'm tired. I feel lack of been hit by a semi. A bunch of times. This is not normal.

A win tonight would help me feel a little better.

wow you got your wish.

southpaw army team are dirty. Injury my top 2 players in the 4th quarter. Lucky they both come out with no real long term injury.

Two things.

1 - LOL

2 - The responsible parties have been fined appropriately. No suspensions tho cause we trynna win this beech

Day 10 (Tuesday 26 September 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)
Let the fist fights commence, I guess!

Night results
Twotone Touloose 80 - Las Vegas High Rollers 114
Tasty Tardsicles 89 - 209’s MostWanted 80
VileOnes 104 - Philly Dribble 110
Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 88 - Linndale 99
Żubr Białystok 27 - Lion Rebels 136
Fort Wayne Pistons 119 - San Dominica Warriors 149
Miami Cleo 0 - F.Day Internet Lovers Club 50
Super Sonics 89 - southpaw army 112

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 149 : San Dominica Warriors
Rebounds : 79 : San Dominica Warriors
Assists : 43 : Lion Rebels
Steals : 15 : Fort Wayne Pistons
Block Shots : 14 : Fort Wayne Pistons

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 33 : S. Aranda (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Rebounds : 21 : C. Baer (Las Vegas High Rollers)
Assists : 12 : G. Izaza (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Steals : 4 : A. Jänes (Las Vegas High Rollers), P. Cuellar (209’s MostWanted), G. Izaza (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Block Shots : 4 : U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : W. Pitts (VileOnes) (19 Points, 2 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 23
Shooting Guard : S. Aranda (Fort Wayne Pistons) (33 Points, 5 Rebounds, 6 Assists, 3 Steals, 3 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38
Small Forward : Z. Vercammer (southpaw army) (18 Points, 13 Rebounds, 8 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 30
Power Forward : J. Bégin (San Dominica Warriors) (26 Points, 16 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 39
Center : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) (20 Points, 17 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40

MVP of the evening
T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) (20 Points, 17 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40

The bad performance of the evening
M. Walker (Żubr Białystok) (0 Points, 1 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -10

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : M. Swenson (Żubr Białystok) : 7 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : L. Moseley (Twotone Touloose), K. Nádas (209’s MostWanted), D. Conaghan (Tasty Tardsicles), J. García de la Vega (VileOnes), K. Knowles (Linndale), M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), G. Reinhardt (Fort Wayne Pistons), D. Lin (Super Sonics) : 5 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : W. Acevedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : A. Ziółkowski (209’s MostWanted) : 6 Three points

The best performer : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) : Rating : 20.0

The worst performer : W. Brissett (Żubr Białystok), W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : Rating : 2.0

Yay we won a game, but the real world shenanigans continue.

Tuesday evening I was in the ER for myself, so I missed the game.

Wednesday morning, I'm back at the ER. This time for my daughter, who had just been released from the hospital Friday.

I really need the real world shenanigans to stop.

Week Five Power Rankings
Couple of jumps up and down the rankings in EFFG and OPP EFFG this week leads to some shifting in the power rankings this week after two games in which there was at least two minor upsets and one big sigh of relief - I'll let you figure that last one out. Back to normal this week, with last week's rankings shown in parenthesis behind the team’s name.

1. Tasty Tardsicles (1)
Since losing their second game of the season to Super Sonics a few weeks ago, spilly19's crew has reeled off 5 straight wins with an average victory of 25.6 points in those games. Yes, two of them were close, but their 31-point domination of Philly last weekend felt a bit like a changing of the guard in a way, especially as Philly put forth more effort. In spite of these un-biased rankings, Tasty sits as what amounts to (per the standings) the second-best team in the league with a showdown against southpaw army on the horizon. While they don't have a single dominant scorer night in and night out (my apologies to Chik Wui Kwong), their second ranked offense combines for a powerful force with what so far has proven to be the #1 defense.

2. southpaw army (2)
If you had told me that by Week 5 we still wouldn't see southpaw at the top spot of these rankings and holding onto that position dominantly, I wouldn't have believed you at the start of the season. But that's part of the reason I do these rankings based on efficiency - to piss people off and mix things up! They do lead the league in scoring and are top 3 in points against. I have a hard time believing they'll be beat and maybe next week we'll see them ascend the glorious throne that is at the top of these vociferous rankings if they batter Tasty next Tuesday.

3. Lion Rebels (4)
I'm a homer, I know, I know. But frankly speaking, this is simply the Zubr Effect taking place. You're damn right I ran Run & Gun on purpose against the team with an average salary per player of just under $3k! (Mostly because San Dominica had them this week as well, but that turns out to be a bit embarrassing as they used Patient to score 127 on them while my R&G netted me just 9 more points). At any rate, expect me to fade over the course, although it may be a hot minute with Fort Wayne and Miami on the horizon.

4. San Dominica Warriors (10)
The biggest jumpers forward in the rankings this week arrives, thanks to an 18.6-point boost in EFFG and a 10.3 improvement in OPP EFFG, which is the Zubr Effect in high form. Fun Fact: heading into their Zubr Effect matchup, Mario Ranger Granja had 9 steals on the season (through 8 games). After that game, he had 16 which vaulted him up to 6th in steals in the league. They are enjoying a decent Cup run and will have to navigate the 213th ranked USA team before traveling for a walk over win against Miami before hosting Super Sonics in what should be the game of the night on Tuesday.

5. VileOnes (3)
A bit of a drop after last week's heroic climb, Vile slipped just a little bit in both categories, but combined with others being gifted special packages, it leaves them back at sixth. A Cup matchup awaits them and then they take on a comparable 209's team at home before traveling to Vegas for what should be a win. I'm definitely intrigued by what could happen on Saturday between the MostWanted and VileOnes, which is definitely a Mascot Matchup Made in Heaven.