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We did not expect to win before the game started. When the game started, we took the first quarter. We took the second quarter. We started believing we could win this game. Then the third quarter happened.

It would have been easy for the team to pack it up and go home. We lost the game, but we did not lose our fight. We lost the rebounding fight by 4. We more than made up for that with our steals and turnovers caused. Wee lost the three point fight, but then, they did what they should have and went 3-2 on us.

We're not that far away from competing at the level I expect. Ireneusz Koncki will be back on the court shortly. We just had our interior offense, defense and rebounding gutted, and getting Koncki on the court is a game changer in that regard. We will still be looking for the right pieces at the right price to add, but I feel like we're heading in the right direction.

Get your wins against us while you can.

Pio walked into the GM’s office with his assistants in tow. Everyone wondered why this meeting was called, but no one spoke a word at all. The GM sat at his desk with his back turned to the door, hidden by his oversized chair. That pinged Pio’s radar. This isn’t a normal meeting, he thought to himself. He looked at Marshall and Byron, who were on the same page as their former teammate. Something was off. Maybe not off; but definitely not normal.

Air Allnite was oblivious. This was not his normal environment. At least, it hadn’t been for years.

Coach turned towards the coaching staff. “Hey, I’m just the consultant, but no one was here, the door was open, and the chair invited me to sit in it. I need to get me one like this that reclines.”

After greeting his former players and politely welcoming Air Allnite, Coach spoke to assembled staff.

“I was asked to talk to you because some feelings might be sore. I know Pio is pissed. He’s just had his interior offense, defense and rebounding ripped apart for the second season in a row. I’d be pissed, too. Air, I don’t much care for you, but you got new point guards to work with. Make it happen with those guards. You wouldn’t have gotten them if the organization didn’t believe you were up to it.” Immediately, the entire staff knew something was up, but unsure of what exactly.

Coach noted this, and continued.

“Marshall, you might think you need some new toys, and maybe you do, but the organization thinks the parts we need are already here. Whatever they hand you, work to the player’s strengths. You’ll do fine, I’m sure. Byron, I hear you got new toys also. I think you’ll know what to do with them.” Coach patted Byron on the shoulder. He really was sure Byron would know what to do.

“Gentlemen, you’ll go ahead and open the folders in front of you.” Each folder was opened to a detailed, assignment specific scouting report. Air had the report on the guards, Marshall the wings, and Byron the bigs, while Pio had the report for each player on the roster. Each man took note of the handwritten note included.

“Gentlemen, if you need advice, you know how to reach me. My last act before full time retirement is to introduce your new GM. The previous guy got a promotion and is the new president of basketball operations.”

Into the room walked Roberto Gurgone. His former teammates were excited. Air Allnite was not a former teammate.

“Does this team ever bring in someone with a differing view”, he asked.

“You still have a job here, don’t you” Roberto retorted. Roberto wasn’t trying to make a new friend.
“Gentlemen, we have a retooled front court to integrate. I want to hear thoughts and plans."

Marshall just smiled. Byron smiled. Air appeared to smile. Then Pio spoke.

"Berto, I think we're gonna be okay. Gentlemen, we've got 4 games before the all star break. Let's see if we can cause a little chaos; just because we're in the basement doesn't mean we can't climb up out of this hole."

"Why are you targeting the break," Roberto asked.

"We win 3 of these, we're not out of the playoffs yet. We beat up on the Great 8, I know the Big 8 will be tougher, but they have to notice that, too. Slow starts do not change our expectation, expecially when our front office tells us 'we won't rebuild, we'll just reload'."

Day 9 (Saturday 23 September 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)

Night results
Las Vegas High Rollers 82 - Super Sonics 96
209’s MostWanted 115 - Twotone Touloose 60
Philly Dribble 87 - Tasty Tardsicles 128
Linndale 98 - VileOnes 107
Lion Rebels 104 - Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 114
San Dominica Warriors 127 - Żubr Białystok 21
F.Day Internet Lovers Club 111 - Fort Wayne Pistons 97
southpaw army 50 - Miami Cleo 0

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 128 : Tasty Tardsicles
Rebounds : 70 : F.Day Internet Lovers Club
Assists : 35 : San Dominica Warriors
Steals : 21 : Linndale
Block Shots : 11 : F.Day Internet Lovers Club

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 39 : E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Rebounds : 23 : I. Tabrizi (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)
Assists : 10 : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️)
Steals : 7 : K. Knowles (Linndale), M. Granja (San Dominica Warriors)
Block Shots : 6 : D. Branimirović (F.Day Internet Lovers Club)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : F. Lovaina (Tasty Tardsicles) (25 Points, 5 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 25
Shooting Guard : S. Brinkman (VileOnes) (32 Points, 4 Rebounds, 7 Assists, 1 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 37
Small Forward : U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons) (26 Points, 12 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 2 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 36
Power Forward : D. Lin (Super Sonics) (26 Points, 20 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38
Center : M. Otçigin (San Dominica Warriors) (14 Points, 9 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 3 Steals, 5 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 30

MVP of the evening
D. Lin (Super Sonics) (26 Points, 20 Rebounds, 3 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38

The bad performance of the evening
H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok) (0 Points, 6 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -14

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : H. Gandy (Żubr Białystok) : 10 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : D. Boyce (Super Sonics), F. Randle (Twotone Touloose) : 6 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : T. Freeman (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : 53 Minutes

The shooter : E. Piana (F.Day Internet Lovers Club) : 7 Three points

The best performer : W. Acevedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️) : Rating : 18.0

The worst performer : W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : Rating : 2.0

No story or character development tonight. My turn at Ye Olde Medical Facility. I hate getting sick. I just want one normal week without any shenanigans from the real world. I'm tired. I feel lack of been hit by a semi. A bunch of times. This is not normal.

A win tonight would help me feel a little better.

wow you got your wish.

southpaw army team are dirty. Injury my top 2 players in the 4th quarter. Lucky they both come out with no real long term injury.

Two things.

1 - LOL

2 - The responsible parties have been fined appropriately. No suspensions tho cause we trynna win this beech

Day 10 (Tuesday 26 September 2023) : Performances by (https://www.buzzer-manager.com)
Let the fist fights commence, I guess!

Night results
Twotone Touloose 80 - Las Vegas High Rollers 114
Tasty Tardsicles 89 - 209’s MostWanted 80
VileOnes 104 - Philly Dribble 110
Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️ 88 - Linndale 99
Żubr Białystok 27 - Lion Rebels 136
Fort Wayne Pistons 119 - San Dominica Warriors 149
Miami Cleo 0 - F.Day Internet Lovers Club 50
Super Sonics 89 - southpaw army 112

Best collective performance of the evening
Points : 149 : San Dominica Warriors
Rebounds : 79 : San Dominica Warriors
Assists : 43 : Lion Rebels
Steals : 15 : Fort Wayne Pistons
Block Shots : 14 : Fort Wayne Pistons

Personal best performances of the evening
Points : 33 : S. Aranda (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Rebounds : 21 : C. Baer (Las Vegas High Rollers)
Assists : 12 : G. Izaza (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Steals : 4 : A. Jänes (Las Vegas High Rollers), P. Cuellar (209’s MostWanted), G. Izaza (Fort Wayne Pistons)
Block Shots : 4 : U. Jaén (Fort Wayne Pistons)

Top 5 of the evening
Point Guard : W. Pitts (VileOnes) (19 Points, 2 Rebounds, 1 Assists, 2 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 23
Shooting Guard : S. Aranda (Fort Wayne Pistons) (33 Points, 5 Rebounds, 6 Assists, 3 Steals, 3 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 38
Small Forward : Z. Vercammer (southpaw army) (18 Points, 13 Rebounds, 8 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 30
Power Forward : J. Bégin (San Dominica Warriors) (26 Points, 16 Rebounds, 2 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 39
Center : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) (20 Points, 17 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40

MVP of the evening
T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) (20 Points, 17 Rebounds, 5 Assists, 1 Steals, 1 Block Shots) : Efficiency : 40

The bad performance of the evening
M. Walker (Żubr Białystok) (0 Points, 1 Rebounds, 0 Assists, 0 Steals, 0 Block Shots) : Efficiency : -10

All kinds of statistics
The player who forgot to remove his mittens : M. Swenson (Żubr Białystok) : 7 Turnovers

Player targeted by the referees : L. Moseley (Twotone Touloose), K. Nádas (209’s MostWanted), D. Conaghan (Tasty Tardsicles), J. García de la Vega (VileOnes), K. Knowles (Linndale), M. Coedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), G. Reinhardt (Fort Wayne Pistons), D. Lin (Super Sonics) : 5 Personnal Fouls

The iron-man : W. Acevedo (Mindless Zombies 🧟‍♀️), W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : 48 Minutes

The shooter : A. Ziółkowski (209’s MostWanted) : 6 Three points

The best performer : T. Armstead (Lion Rebels) : Rating : 20.0

The worst performer : W. Brissett (Żubr Białystok), W. Bonner (Żubr Białystok) : Rating : 2.0

Yay we won a game, but the real world shenanigans continue.

Tuesday evening I was in the ER for myself, so I missed the game.

Wednesday morning, I'm back at the ER. This time for my daughter, who had just been released from the hospital Friday.

I really need the real world shenanigans to stop.

Week Five Power Rankings
Couple of jumps up and down the rankings in EFFG and OPP EFFG this week leads to some shifting in the power rankings this week after two games in which there was at least two minor upsets and one big sigh of relief - I'll let you figure that last one out. Back to normal this week, with last week's rankings shown in parenthesis behind the team’s name.

1. Tasty Tardsicles (1)
Since losing their second game of the season to Super Sonics a few weeks ago, spilly19's crew has reeled off 5 straight wins with an average victory of 25.6 points in those games. Yes, two of them were close, but their 31-point domination of Philly last weekend felt a bit like a changing of the guard in a way, especially as Philly put forth more effort. In spite of these un-biased rankings, Tasty sits as what amounts to (per the standings) the second-best team in the league with a showdown against southpaw army on the horizon. While they don't have a single dominant scorer night in and night out (my apologies to Chik Wui Kwong), their second ranked offense combines for a powerful force with what so far has proven to be the #1 defense.

2. southpaw army (2)
If you had told me that by Week 5 we still wouldn't see southpaw at the top spot of these rankings and holding onto that position dominantly, I wouldn't have believed you at the start of the season. But that's part of the reason I do these rankings based on efficiency - to piss people off and mix things up! They do lead the league in scoring and are top 3 in points against. I have a hard time believing they'll be beat and maybe next week we'll see them ascend the glorious throne that is at the top of these vociferous rankings if they batter Tasty next Tuesday.

3. Lion Rebels (4)
I'm a homer, I know, I know. But frankly speaking, this is simply the Zubr Effect taking place. You're damn right I ran Run & Gun on purpose against the team with an average salary per player of just under $3k! (Mostly because San Dominica had them this week as well, but that turns out to be a bit embarrassing as they used Patient to score 127 on them while my R&G netted me just 9 more points). At any rate, expect me to fade over the course, although it may be a hot minute with Fort Wayne and Miami on the horizon.

4. San Dominica Warriors (10)
The biggest jumpers forward in the rankings this week arrives, thanks to an 18.6-point boost in EFFG and a 10.3 improvement in OPP EFFG, which is the Zubr Effect in high form. Fun Fact: heading into their Zubr Effect matchup, Mario Ranger Granja had 9 steals on the season (through 8 games). After that game, he had 16 which vaulted him up to 6th in steals in the league. They are enjoying a decent Cup run and will have to navigate the 213th ranked USA team before traveling for a walk over win against Miami before hosting Super Sonics in what should be the game of the night on Tuesday.

5. VileOnes (3)
A bit of a drop after last week's heroic climb, Vile slipped just a little bit in both categories, but combined with others being gifted special packages, it leaves them back at sixth. A Cup matchup awaits them and then they take on a comparable 209's team at home before traveling to Vegas for what should be a win. I'm definitely intrigued by what could happen on Saturday between the MostWanted and VileOnes, which is definitely a Mascot Matchup Made in Heaven.

Week Five Power Rankings - Part II
6. F. Day Internet Lovers Club (5)
I still don't have a clue what this club's name means, but I'm reaching the age where these types of things just don't matter anymore. More importantly, this group has enjoyed a nice three game stretch and are facing the next stage of the Cup this week with a big matchup right before they head to Key Arena to face Super Sonics in what should be a game of the weekend candidate. F. Day's specialty is their defense which has brought them this far despite somewhat underwhelming offensive displays despite Piana and Tabrizi's best efforts in 8 games each. Their FG% is only good for 11th thus far - which isn't Zach Wilson for the Jets bad, but it won't help them out in the long run.

7. Mindless Zombies (7)
Standing pat in the rankings, Mindless had what had to feel like a satisfying win on Saturday. I was lying in bed, watching the game feeling both thrilled and pissed that my team managed to come back after being down 15 at the half to tie it up and then blow it by not being able to score in the last minute to pull it out. AND THEN. And then watch them utterly fall apart while the Zombies scored 21 points and were the Change They Wanted to See in the World. (Congrats!) And I won't lie, I drew a fair amount of satisfaction to see them fall back to .500 after losing to Linndale two nights later. Next comes Philly at home before a trip to the 209.

8. Super Sonics (6)
Super enjoyed a 14-point victory over Las Vegas last weekend before being victimized by those coward dirty playing southpaw army bastards on Tuesday. The result? A slight dip in EFFG and OPP EFFG leaving them in the middle of these rankings and 2nd in the Great 8. They now get the "opportunity" to host the 4th ranked USA team in the Cup before they turn their attention to F.Day and then take a trip to San Dominica for a television game - both games should be quality entertainment (as long as Chas Goldsmith doesn't hurt his pinky again!).

9. Philly Dribble (9)
Splitting their games this week to remain at .500, Philly continues to drift. While they were pummeled by Tasty on TV by 31, they turned around and held off VileOnes after being down 5 at the half and 1 after three. They took the lead less than a minute into the 4th quarter and didn't look back, cruising to victory with 30-points in the final frame. They, too, remain in the Cup, with a matchup at home against #203 Rashmonsters tonight. Turning to next week, will they continue their .500 journey with a trip to Mindless followed by hosting the Zubr Effect? I think they've got a shot to get to 7-5, but Mindless has the firepower to hold out on them.

10. Fort Wayne Pistons (8)
The Zubr Effect didn't last long for Fort Wayne as the Pistons have lost 7 of their last 8 games to arrive at 2-8, though they've been competitive having only a -56 PD on the season thus far, despite losing their last three games by a combined 89 points. They showed a decent effort against the Internet Lovers Club and are probably kicking themselves after seeing a lesser effort come up short by just 14 points, especially after the no defense game we saw against San Dominica where both teams combined for 268 points! This coming week, they host the Lion Rebels (frauds!) before paying a visit to Linndale. Can they tack on another win or two?

Last edited by Baine at 9/28/2023 10:47:32 AM

Week Five Power Rankings - Part III
11. 209's Most Wanted (11)
Here's a peek inside the rankings to show you how a 4-6 team with a positive PD (+54) can be ranked behind a 2-8 team with a negative PD (the aforementioned Fort Wayne): Fort Wayne has a season EFFG of 125.3 which is good for 6th. 209's has an EFFG of 112.3 (nearly 4-point increase from last week) which is good for 11th in the league. So just 13 points separate 6th and 11th. In terms of OPP EFFG, the Pistons sit at 128 dropping from 11th last week to 14th while 209's has a much better OPP EFFG of 103.3 which is still only good enough for 9th. And here's where the first tie breaker takes hold:
Fort Wayne: 6th+14th=20/2=10
209's Most: 11th+9th=20/2=10
First tie breaker, because we're prisoners to recency bias, is last week's average ranking where Fort Wayne scored 7.5 while 209's was back at 10.5. Is it fair? No. Is it fun? Definitely. I'm a terrible guesser, but my supposition is that Alex's crew will supplant The Mechanic in these rankings soon, especially by the All-Star break.

12. Linndale (13)
Speedtraps' free fall seemed to be continuing with a 9-point loss to VileOnes on the road last weekend, but they turned around and finally were able to take advantage of the effort difference to gain an 11-point victory, their second of the season. And that was in spite of Kyle Knowles shooting just 33% on 12 shots, missing two free throws, but still scoring 16 points thanks to half of them coming from the free throw line. But fortunately for them, recently acquired Ireneusz Koncki, the 23-year-old Polish super star was flawless on the night and Josh MacNeur, the 24-year-old dual citizen Scottish/Utopian super star joined him with a double-double to show off their refreshed starting lineup. This week they get the gift of the Zubr Effect before facing off against Fort Wayne at home in the hopes of getting two more wins which could lead to a four-game winning streak heading into the break.

13. Las Vegas High Rollers (14)
Las Vegas gets to take advantage of Miami Cleo's live action parachuting into the abyss and moves up a spot this week. But they also had a decent increase in EFFG and OPP EFFG for an average of 7.5 points improvement in both categories. Despite the 14-point loss to Super Sonics on Saturday night, they improved slightly on their season average in EFFG that game and then took advantage of Twotone Touloose's missed game day prep guesses for a dominant victory after starting out down 8 after the first quarter and then holding them to just 8 points in the 3rd quarter at which point they exploded for 41 points enroute to their third victory on the season. This next week doesn't look as promising, with a game against the #1 Great 8 in Tasty before hosting VileOnes on Tuesday.