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The Panther Press (28370)

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This Post:
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192927.79 in reply to 192927.71
Date: 8/15/2011 7:11:08 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
32293229
In season 16, Toccoa Panthers were relegated from league USA III.5


I know being promoted to IV for the first time is a challenging time,


hrudey, while I appreciate your great concern for OUR team, I must request that you stop slandering the name of this fine franchise. They have fought tooth and nail for this country and clawed their way into D3 to see their dreams ripped out by a 3-19 season in which they RELEGATED back into D4. They need much coddling and encouragement to come back from that type of beating and your criticism is not helping. We must treat them as babies or small children so they don't go down the road of shame like Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Jose Canseco, and Cory Feldman to name a few. We must lift them up in this time of urgency and help them rise from the ashes back to the glory days when they were at the pinnacle of D4.


I had seen that bit about demotion but I thought that was merely more attack propaganda spread by the anti-Panther media in order to attack them for not meeting the expectations one would expect from a D IV team. It's truly sad the length these America-haters will go to to bring down our beloved franchise.

I'm not sure that coddling is the way to go. After all, steel is tempered by fire, not cotton candy. We all expect, nay demand, that this franchise live up to its place in America's hearts, and if the current batch of foreign usurpers can not deliver the goods, we need to know now.

This Post:
00
192927.80 in reply to 192927.79
Date: 8/15/2011 7:55:32 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
122122
I can assure every person in America that I will not let them down on Tuesday when we play the Texas Terrors!

This Post:
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192927.81 in reply to 192927.80
Date: 8/15/2011 9:21:26 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
88
I'd be more comfortable hearing it from Daniel Tosh. In fact, can he handle all further press releases and conferences? I think that would instill some more hope in the American people. Either that or you can just hire Willis Lundy, I'm sure he'd be more than will to cuss everyone out.

Last edited by Aradrad at 8/15/2011 9:26:26 AM

This Post:
00
192927.82 in reply to 192927.81
Date: 8/15/2011 9:45:43 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
504504
I'd be more comfortable hearing it from Daniel Tosh. In fact, can he handle all further press releases and conferences? I think that would instill some more hope in the American people. Either that or you can just hire Willis Lundy, I'm sure he'd be more than will to cuss everyone out.

Already beat you...lol

From: Panic
This Post:
00
192927.83 in reply to 192927.82
Date: 8/15/2011 9:55:11 AM
Overall Posts Rated:
5656
I think I have it figured out. The reason America's Team is (dare I say) underperforming is directly connected to the state of our country. As most of you know there are two ways to improve your team in BB. While the first (training) cannot be spoken for by myself, I suspect it is coming along well. On the other hand, recent spending by both our country and our team has greatly increased the national debt, thus enforcing President Obama to create a debt ceiling to induce financial stability and render spending on the Transfer List by the Panthers unavailable to Buckeyefan. Thus, the "classified" meeting was purely about finances.

Anything left out?

Last edited by Panic at 8/15/2011 9:56:10 AM

From: fewmit
This Post:
11
192927.84 in reply to 192927.83
Date: 8/15/2011 3:31:54 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
597597
As a devoted follow of America's Team I wish to register my absolute disgust that this team is still in the cup. I don't want America's Team to be beating up other Americans! I want them to be be beat the snot out of lower tier Taiwanese, random Russians, and smelly, smelly Canadians. How can my heart swell with patriotism and pride of country when we fight amongst ourselves?

Short answer: it can't. It pains me that it comes to this...I do not wish to think of myself as someone of fickle loyalty. But if the Panthers do not throw Thursday's game, I will be forced to transfer my allegiance to the alternate America's Team: (28137)

Group hug!
This Post:
00
192927.85 in reply to 192927.84
Date: 8/15/2011 4:36:03 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
122122
Six Flags!

Early this morning the Toccoa Panthers left their small town of Toccoa and went to Six Flags Over Georgia, on their way to the game against Texas Terrors. They had a great time, and rode many of the famous attractions. They rode Goliath, Superman, Batman, and Georgia Scorcher. They saw fewmit there and he rode the Ninja about 5 times, before the Panthers got bored and went to the Go-Karts. All of the Panthers got a basketball from the games expect for Rex Casillas, I guess he should work on his atrocious ft.

In other news the Panthers will be attending a private showing of Daniel Tosh in a unseen and untelevised stand-up comedy on Wednesday at 8 pm (only if they win)! They will be taking 5 lucky people with them (if they win)! All you have to do is be one of the first five people to say the starting 5 of the Panthers!

Also the Panthers have their eyes on Brain Ivy (20750038). They have not decided if they want to buy him yet though, but we will keep you updated.

Watch the Panthers on Tuesday at 8 p.m. as they play against the Texas Terrors.

This Post:
00
192927.86 in reply to 192927.85
Date: 8/15/2011 4:38:55 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
32293229
In other news the Panthers will be attending a private showing of Daniel Tosh in a unseen and untelevised stand-up comedy on Wednesday at 8 pm (only if they win)! They will be taking 5 lucky people with them (if they win)! All you have to do is be one of the first five people to say the starting 5 of the Panthers!

Also the Panthers have their eyes on Brain Ivy (20750038). They have not decided if they want to buy him yet though, but we will keep you updated.


The starting five are Sleepy, Dopey, Sneezy, Brainy and Papa Smurf.

The price on the player listed seems awful high but he's American and I mean, "Brain Ivy?" That's freaking awesome.

This Post:
00
192927.87 in reply to 192927.86
Date: 8/15/2011 5:01:05 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
122122
That is why we might buy him we might not... and wrong! There are still five openings.

This Post:
44
192927.88 in reply to 192927.87
Date: 8/15/2011 5:04:51 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
32293229
and wrong! There are still five openings.


You try convincing my wife of that.

This Post:
11
192927.89 in reply to 192927.85
Date: 8/15/2011 5:18:31 PM
Overall Posts Rated:
88
I bet this Brain Ivy isn't any good. All those Ivy Leaguers may be good at math, but not so much at basketball. My guess is he'll try to graduate from Harvard before he attempts to focus on his career, so I wouldn't even bother.

By the way, I was at Six Flags, but was turned away by the players while attempting to get autographs. This is an outrage! You should definitely give your people a talking to in good PR.

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