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Week Five Power Rankings
Just when you thought you had it all figured out. Another upset this week amongst the noise of higher seeds beating lower seeds. Good to see the status quo can be shaken up a bit here and there. There's some movement on the transfer wire, but we'll leave the Shams reporting to Shams this week. Onto the rankings! (Last week's rank will be in parenthesis).

1. San Dominica Warriors (5)
An unprecedented leap up the rankings this week for Coach Stephenson's crew, with a 9-point increase in EFFG to take 1st and a nearly 11-point decrease in OPP EFFG to move from 6th to 3rd lifts them to the top spot this week. A 106-point victory over Sweaty Socks combined with a wire-to-wire victory over the Spartans will do that for you. Granted the Spartans made it close, coming within one point of the lead in the 3rd quarter before they fell off. This ranking sets them up for an intriguing matchup against Żubr Białystok Saturday night before playing host to the stalwart Ashkickers, which should really define the pecking order of where the Warriors belong. They spread the ball around on offense and are becoming impregnable on defense...will see if that holds up after Week 6.

2. The Beer Bellys (2)
Holding on to number 2, the Bellys have strung together a little winning streak after hitting 4-3 on the season, winning three in a row including thumping my sad sack of a squad like one of those gophers with a hammer at the arcade. They dominated BKDogs at home and now travel to 209's in what should be a good game then play host to Philly Dribble on TV to see where they really stand in the mix of things.

3. Philly Dribble (3)
Philly holds steady in third, despite some other teams’ best efforts (Miami, Ashkickers, & Linndale). They have a 3rd best 130.8 EFFG combined with a steady 69 OPP EFFG. After their stumble in Week 4, they bounced back with a strong BBM win and a Cup victory before then TROUNCING Hustlas with vengeance and then holding off Żubr Białystok to win by 13. After defeating the Great 8's previous #1 seed, then get the pleasure of hosting another Great 8 #1 seed in The Ashkickers for a much-anticipated matchup. After that, they travel to The Keg for what could be a good matchup.

4. The Ashkickers (4)
Another quality team holding on to their spot in the rankings, they're staying consistent in both EFFG and OPP EFFG, regardless of who they play. While their EFFG isn't blowing anyone away, they are winning games, thanks a lot to their OPP EFFG, which is top of the league. Their lone loss came early on against Hustlas who efforted their way to a win, but Tylormade's group is fierce defensively and looking respectable all around. They've got seven players averaging a rating of 12+ on the season. The aforementioned trip to Philly Dribble looms as a big test followed by Carolina Rebels in what could be a fierce competition. I wouldn't be surprised if their record was 11-1, 10-2, or 9-3 after this run - it's a roll of the dice.

5. Miami Cleo (6)
One bot matchup and one bot-like matchup for Miami this week, rolling over BOBBBS abandoned burger shack before fending off Lion Rebels at home boosts their EFFG rank to 7th and keeps hold of their ranking of 2nd in OPP EFFG (there's some really REALLY good defense going on in our league this season with three teams giving up less than 60 EFFG and six less than 70). Does their walk-over win against Żubr Białystok early in the season help? Sure, but without it they'd still sit at giving up 56.7 EFFG, less than a point different than my calculation has them with that 10th game. An easy matchup against 7th seeded BKDogs on the road is on the horizon before playing host to 209's MostWanted next week.

6. Linndale (7)
Speedtraps' crew with a nice jump up improving their stock in both EFFG categories this week thanks to nearly identical wins against Motor City and Sweaty Socks. They'll turn those victories around to face some stiffer competition this week, although now that the Spartans sold their recent acquisitions this morning, that might not be the case fully. Linndale hosts the reverted Spartans before taking a road trip to the newly formed volcano known as SmackDown Arena to face Hustlas in an interesting matchup.

7. Hustlas (1)
Losing back-to-back games against quality teams produces this unseen before tumble in these power rankings by Reece's Hustlas. They dropped 15 points in EFFG and another 9.5 in OPP EFFG, dropping 5 places in the first ranking and three places in the other, while averaging a surprising 69.5 PPG and less than 60 in EFF for both matchups. While they didn't necessarily play outside centric offenses in those two games, they went an incredibly terrible 6-38 from three-point land in those two games. Before those two games, they were shooting a not great 35% from that storied land, but thanks to a 15.7% completion rate from three over the last two games, their season average now hovers just above 30%. Not that the three-ball is their game. This run smells like a game shape issue - rumour has it that Coach Boone was heard screaming at Jonata Esposito after their BBM loss last night because he'd been coasting through their wind sprints at practice the last two weeks. At any rate, it might not get better in Week 6, though I've learned to not count them out, as they've got matchups against San Dominica Saturday before hosting Linndale next Tuesday.

8. Carolina Rebels (8)
My flattery of Daisy Merollin aside, Carolina has steadily improved in both efficiency categories over the course of the season, culminating in their 14-point victory on the road against Hustlas this week, following their weekend victory over Philadelphia. Here's the thing with Carolina - they don't blow anyone out (except for the bottom feeders), but they just keep winning. They have a winnable matchup with Żubr Białystok at home before traveling to The Ashkickers in what is now a very anticipated matchup!

9. Żubr Białystok (10)
In reviewing my write up from week 5 of last season, whitestok finds himself in almost the exact same position as last season at this time. Same power ranking, same move one spot up from the week before. Efficiency ratings are OK, but not tremendous. They've battled for that fifth spot in the Great 8 and struggled this week with an 8-point loss to 209's before succumbing to Philly Dribble to land at 4-6 on the season. The previously mentioned tough matchup against Carolina comes up and then they face San Dominica at home - will they be able to pull off an upset to try and steady the ship?

10. 209's MostWanted (9)
209's holding onto .500 with a split record this week, fending off Żubr Białystok before giving way to The Ashkickers. Their EFFG is decent but their OPP EFFG is 30 points higher than the elite defenses in the league this season. While they've been able to hold out and win several key matchups, they're getting it handed to them by the top of the league (They're still better than my Lion Rebels though!). A winnable Cup game tonight before hosting The Beer Bellys and then traveling to Miami. Will they split the games this week again? Or can they start a two-game winning streak?

11. The Philadelphia Spartans (12)
And just like that, it appears the Spartans have decided their big man 170K experiment isn't worth the money and sold off Sorin Nita and Harmo Vaarandi after losing both games this week to Carolina and the Warriors to fall to 3-7 on the season. Their offense had improved modestly over the course of the season, but it was their defense that was picking it up...we'll see if they can maintain that course and pick up a few more wins in what now looks like a race for a higher seed in relegation matchups. They travel to Linndale this weekend before playing host to BOTTTSBURGS.

12. Lion Rebels (11)
Dropping another two games to increase their losing streak to three now, Lion Rebels appear to be putting a lot of energy into BBM and Cup matchups while forfeiting some competitiveness in the regular season. Is that going to mean they forfeit their right to be in Div III? Probably, at this rate. Rumour has it, they're trying to get Sherwood Hollins finished training in his ball handling/driving skills before moving on in the training regimen and that's the only thing holding them back from getting a more fully adequate team on the court all at the same time. Some critical losses to The Beer Bellys and Miami Cleo leave them disheartened, but heading into matchups against Motor City and Sweaty Socks has them feeling a tad-bit hopeful that the season might not be a waste.

13. Motor City Waddupdoe (14)
Sporting a 2-8 record, Motor City has found competition difficult, but having notched their second win with a 129-point explosion this week over BOTTSBURGS, they find themselves facing off against fellow 2-8 record holder Lion Rebels before turning their attention to hosting BKDogs. Is it possible they could find themselves with a three-game winning streak by next week's end?

14. BKDogs (13)
BK dropped a spot this week, struggling in both efficiency categories, especially in OPP EFFG with a 143 number. They haven't won a game since November 17th in a Cup game and haven't won a regular season game since Game 4 of the season against then BOBBBS. A difficult matchup this week against Miami at home and then a trip to Motor City in the hopes of adding a 2nd win to their record.

15. Sweaty Socks (15)
Well, Footsniffer hasn't been online since before Halloween...this might be the end of a human being "controlling" this squad, which at this point, probably wouldn't be different than it already is. Based on Salary alone, I'd guess Sweaty should beat out BOTTTSBURGS, but if they go bot themselves, it's anyone's guess. My group gets a sigh of relief next Tuesday when we travel to sniff around their arena for an evening.

16. BOTTTSBURGS (16)
Not much to say about bots. Too bad, all the same.

Good luck to those of you still in the Cup, and good night!

Blasted rankings! LOL! (sigh) so much for being underestimated was nice while it lasted

Good thing we all know they're garbage rankings!

"Everyone, the new rankings are out. We dropped out of first and fell back down to 7th," said Denkovic in the meeting room with the players.

"We lost two league games in a row. Makes sense," said Ozakan.

"Who do we play next?" Asked Nick Williams.

"We play the new number one team, San Dominica," said Coach Boone, walking into the room with the other coaches. "I didn't say the best team. I said the number one team, as in, the current top ranked team. But they are not the best. That would be Philly Dribble, followed by Ashkickers, followed by Carolina, followed by us. But if we are a top 4 team, we have to prove it. And the three teams ahead of us, we lost to two of them this season, and lost to the other twice last season. If we want to be considered top 4, we have to go back to playing top 4 basketball. We have to win this game. If we lose this game, we cannot claim to be this good. So the pressure is on. We did lose some players. I don't foresee us losing or gaining any over the next day. So, prepare. And then come out ready to play the whole game, not just some of the game. We are good. We must go out there and prove how good we are."

San Dominica won't know what hit them," said Klin.

"Or we won't," said Ozakan under his breath.

"Always being negative," said Oblacinkas. "Make some threes and maybe we will win more. Okay better defense and maybe we will win more. Do better Soykin. Be better."

"I have to be better as well," said Nick Williams.

"No comment," said Esposito.

"You too Esposito," said Coach Boone. "You've started to coast through games. And if I drug test you and you fail, you will be benched. Get your act together. Otherwise, once Mauro's conditioning improves, he will replace you in the starting lineup. Be better. Play the whole game, and not just the last quarter. Which, gentlemen, is the money quarter." The team nodded their heads and you could hear people saying, 'yep', and 'that's right', but Boone cut them off, "the money quarter where you were held to 11 points against Carolina. They had 20 by the time we had 6. So, not so money. So let's shape up, step up, and do what we are paid to do. Win ballgames. San Dominica is next. They better not know what hit them. Because if they do, I feel bad for us. But for now, I trust you guys. Let's get it done."

***inside the locker room***

"It's time for some of you to show up, or be shown out. We've been riding the bigs to get better, and they have, but some of ya'll been coasting. So let me make it plain. Get your grind on or get out my locker room. We absolutely will be working young guys into the mix. We absolutely will prioritize devense as usual. If that means we change or style of play to one where we win 50 to 49, I'll do that. I don't want to. I want to run. I want to play fast. Last year's group was dangerous that way, even with a lack of rebounding. I don't think ya'll got the same heart, drive, or desire. Someof you are thinking about your minutes. That's selfish! You want to be great? You have to make sacriices. What are you willing to sacrifice? Last year's group was killed on the boards. THey made up for it by forcing turnovers, taking the ball away, and causing holy hell on the floor. That group would get outrebounded by 30, 35 or more, and make up for it by forcing turnovers, getting steals, and being absolute pests. That group understood. Most of you were a part of that group. Find that mindset. Reclaim that mindset. If you don't you'll be one and done again, and I aon't about that life. I'm here to kick ass and chew gum. I'm out of gum, and if we can't kick the other teams' ass, I'm kicking yours. Got it?"

*outside the room*

Coach: "You told him you weren't buying any more players, didn't you?"

GM: "I didn't say that explicitly, but I may have letft that impression. Either way, he's right, and this conversation is one he needed to have with the boys inside that room."

Coach: "I know. Glad Pio decided to do this on his own..."



Last edited by Speedtraps at 12/9/2022 5:50:18 PM

"What we need around here is some friendly competition", says Pio Reina, "so I'll provide it." The locker room went silent. The team was hanging on every word to come from their coach.

"Any bench player who out performs a starter will start the next game. If the bench unit out performs the starters, each member gets a $10,000 bonus. If the starters out perform you, they get $20,000. If a bench player out performs a starter and proceeds to start 3 games in a row ---and scrimmages don't count--- that player gets another $10,000 bonus. If said player starts the rest of the season, $25,000 is yours. That's a chance for a backup to earn $45,000. Incentive for the starters to perform. Incemtive for the bench to perform..."

Cheers broke out around the locker room.

"...but the catch is that you have to win. You didn't think I was gonna make this easy, did you? If the team does well, you do well. Perform in the team environment. Do that and we all do well. If a bench guy starts 3 games in a row and you win the first two and the 3rd is a loss, the 3 in a row requirement starts over. You want to be great? Then go chase greatness. Good ain't enough here."

Coach whispers to the GM, "How long before someone checks the schedule and notices he actually made this manageable for them?" "All carrot, no stick. I wonder who notices first", says the GM as he turns and walks away. "It's brilliant!"

The owner and Bobby Sparks sits In the visiting box watching the game against San Dominica. The Hustlas are down 20 starting the 4th quarter.

"So, Bobby, what does this mean for our team?" Asked the owner. "That we are no longer a top 4 team. We are trying to maintain a top 8 appearance. We cannot shoot well, and we cannot find the offense that will work best for us. It's all going south fast, and we may have to blow it all up and start over," says Bobby Sparks.

"Will we make 12 wins this season?"

"I believe we will win 12, no more than 12. But from the looks of it, this game knocks us from top 4, to below Philly Dribble, Ashkickers, Carolina, Miami Cleo, San Dominica, Linndale, these teams definitively are better. That puts us in the top 7. But changes has to be made. Or else we will keep losing. If we don't pass 74 points this game, we may have to remove Boone, or John Walton," says Bobby.

"We will see. I just don't like the look of the team right now. It's rough to see," says the owner, sighing.

"I've seen enough Bobby. Blow it up. We are not hoping for championship this season. Not even playoffs. Just blow it up. We'll see what happens," says the owner.

"Yes sir. I will keep the coaches, keep three bigs, one wing, and sell the rest. I don't think we will make it with such a roster, but we will give it a shot. Hope I find great replacements," said Bobby. "I just can't watch this current team perform anymore."
..

Last edited by Reece at 12/11/2022 2:57:41 PM

Pio: "Everyone here? Good! We're on this Zoom call because I didn't want to drag you guys out on your day off. This will be quick. Results from last night are in. At the power forward, Guevara and Czagala played to a draw. Nick, don't get cocky, that could have gone either way. Gyozo, you almost had him; keep grinding. At the small forward, there was no doubt. Daniil Kamp is the new starter at small forward. Paul, you're with the second unit for now. Kamp, you get the first $10,000 bonus. Now the question is can you keep the gig and earn the 2nd bonus. Paul, we know what you're capable of. Time to get in that bagof yours and pull out something wonderful like you do. I want to be clear about something here: Paul did not play a bad game. Daniil was just very good. Now, Daniil, you have to do it against the other team's starters now. Any questions? No? Okay then, see you at practice tomorrow."