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The Holster Feature: Quotable quotes of the week

This week saw an exchange of heated words between teams in Pilipinas BuzzerBeater, who have their top players involved in a fiasco as well as failed deals. The following exchanges from press releases have been ranked according to their degree of "BURN!". Prepare your ointments as this is going to be extremely hot.

10) "He will probably be in his late 30's if his current team reaches the PPL, and that's a big if. Meanwhile, we would have won more Cup and PPL trophies as his team has won division championships." - JSmoove (through a press secretary)

In describing the potential achievements of Johnas Dispo, franchise player of Red Horse Beermen, JSmoove, manager of Celestial Wrath did not hesitate to display his intention to acquire the budding superstar, and this quote looked like a sales pitch that projected the possibility of him reaching the PPL in the later years of his career if he stays with his team.

9) "we will dominate Dispo so much that he would wish that he's part of our bench at the end of the game." - JSmoove (through a press secretary)

This quote came from the same press release as #10. This time, press asked if JSmoove were afraid of Red Horse Beermen if they met in the future. An even hotter quote is to be uttered regarding the matter in the succeeding ranks.

8) "As for Huck Finn, he's just known as Dispo's owner, nothing more." - JSmoove (through a press secretary)

Although a condescending statement by nature, it re-established the gap between the two parties. An old school burn indeed.

7) "But that is just the nature of SOB Jsmoove. To him everything is just a commodity for him to win." - Gaudioso Dabandan

An obviously frustrated Dabandan dropped a pipebomb on his former manager about the situation he was in before his departure. In this statement, he alleges his manager's tendency to look at his players as commodity and selling them when they are still at prime to get the most value out of them.

6) "His current manager has been stubborn about the matter. We inquired about him and the manager wanted 8 million for him. He deserves to be in a mental institution." - JSmoove

Mental Institutions aren't a laughing matter, but that is how JSmoove described Huck Finn in regards to their failed deal to transfer Dispo to the reigning PPL and Cup champs.

5) "As a sign of friendship Lolo Smithz has sent over ten boxes of herbal tea to Huck Finn. It's rumored Mr. Huck Finn drinks too much beer" - Lolo Smithz press release

The statement came after the fact that negotiations between Red Horse Beermen and Lolo Smithz's Zebu Mayas had broken down. The humor in the quote comes from the fact that the Huck Finn's team does represent an alcoholic beverage that is associated with the alleged rumors about him.

4) "He's half the player that I am. I have played in B3 games before he was even out of his diapers" - Gaudioso Dabandan

In a show of pride by the former NT mainstay, Dabandan slams Dispo over the latter's selection to the team.

3) I may not be as good as you are now, but I am trying my best to become just like you if not better than you" - Johnas Dispo

The most discussed player of the moment, Johnas Dispo made this strong statement in a response to Dabandan's #4 statement.

2) As a matter of fact, WE, I and JSmoove, deserved to be in a mental institution, I being his doctor and him being my patient. - Huck Finn

Huck Finn tried to put the joke on JSmoove as the Beermen head responded to the #6 statement. Talk about a counter-strike.

1) "Are they even in the cup?" - JSmoove

If your team is no longer in the Philippine Cup, you'd be burned to death if this was directed at you.

Lines that made me LAUGH throughout the conversations..


#1. Coach Huck Finn called the attention of the Sagad™ Gazette, news branch of the Red Horse Beermen, to air his side on the issue.

Are you sure you want to air your side on SAGAD? hahaha! People Might as well look at the centerfold of the paper than read your statement.. xD (if you know what i mean)



#2. Coach Huck Finn's voice rises as he grab a cup of herbal tea for two from Lolo Smithz.

Coach ka po ng Redhorse Beermen... why would you endorse the herbal tea of Lolo? hahaha.. dapat bad ass.. endorse beer! xD


#3.The opposing SF was toying with him(Dabandan).

Dabandan being a boy toy? xD What's even worst is being a boy toy to another man! xD


#4.Dabandan ended the ambush interview with a tongue sticking out.

After provoking and being mean on an interview.. ilalabas mo nalang ang dila mo? SO GAY! hahaha.. might as well do a dirty FINGER! xD hahahaha

JUST FOR FUN! I REALLY FIND THOSE LINES VERY AWKWARD! xD HAHAHA

Streak-busters..almost! Mavs lose 84-82, LHC maintain perfect season

Q. Arena, Philippines -- Hello! Hello! It's been two months since the Dahlia Mavericks organization released a press release. Currently, the Mavs are at the bottom with a 4-9 record at the unforgiving Big 8.

Last night, the Mavs known for their heart-breaking losses or 'inspired' play against top-tier teams proved why it was worth it to watch a Mavs game.

Boasting an all-Filipino line-up, they were pitted against the then 12-0 Lonely Hearts Club.

The Mavs were leading 46-40 at the half but could not sustain their momentum in the 4th as they found themsevles trailing by as much as 9 points (83-72) with 3:31 left.

As d brothers team owner Iking said "it seems like your team ran out of gas." To which GM Maro replied, "never say die, you'll see how our team is made of!"

The Mavs went on a tear scoring the next 9 points while holding the Hearts scoreless in 3 minutes but injuring back-up point guard Jake Pueda in the process.

"It's that time of the year again when we are decimated by injuries after the all-star break" a season-ticket holder said noting that starting point guard is still recuperating from a two-week injury and Pueda succumbing to his own two-week injury.

With the score tied at 82 apiece with 13 seconds left, Mustafa Ekin found Pierre-Charles Jutras who calmly hits a a jump-shot from the wing. The Mavs called a time-out.

"Ouch!" Iking exclaimed obviously rooting for an upset? by the Mavs. GM Maro said "were used to this, down to the last possession."

On the ensuing possession, the Mavs safely inbounded the ball. They tried their best to find the open man, dribbled, dribbled, all were on their feet, only to be stolen by Francis Nunez.

All were in disbelief as they could not take a shot as almost everyone were rooting for the Mavs to put a stamp on the Hearts perfect season so far.

"We have to give credit when it is due. They played great defense on the last 13 seconds," GM Nicolo Maro said.

National Team player Apolonio Sepulveda led the Mavs with 30 points, 15 rebounds and 3 blocks to prove his worth. Scott Famaran had a double-double with 12 points and 19 rebounds.

"They are proving that they can co-exist playing together. One is finesse while the other will be there down-low," their GM said as some are suggesting to let go of the other and find a 'killer' guard. "we will make it work." Maro assuredly said not a disappointment in his face despite the loss, and the loss of another player to injury.

"We thought we can't pull it off," the over? confident Sgt. Pepper said. "I have extreme confidence with our team." (despite an upset in the Cup).

Francis Nunez and Dean Beverly led the Hearts with 18 points apiece while Mustafa Ekin chipped in 17 points.

Although out-rebounded (52-33) the Hearts put their stamp on defense as the Mavs turned the ball over 22 times doubling their turnover (with 11).

Breaking news:
The Dahlia Mavericks is celebrating as Apolonio Sepulveda and Fillmore Sabangan were voted all-stars.

"Saba" is averaging 20.2ppg, 4.4rpg, 4.4apg in 11 games for the Mavs. "All is sacrificing for our team. They want to play here. Because we take care of our players." GM Nicolo Maro said taking a shot at both feuding Celestial Wrath (known for their wheeling and dealing?) and all-hype? Dispo being supported by his team.

"I would like to thank everyone for supporting me, recognizing what I, we have accomplished as a team." Saba said. He is now a five-time allstar.

"Sepu" a.k.a. "the rock" of the team is averaging 19.4ppg, 13.5rpg, and 2.2bpg for the Mavs this season. It is his second PPL allstar game appearance and a five-time allstar.

Arguably the most coveted Mavs player, he is also recognized as a National Team-worthy player.

"I would like to thank my previous team, Xerex, led by its owner Xerex Boy. If not for him, I wouldn't be who I am today. For giving me the opportunity to ply my skills in the Premier League. And of course, the Mavs organization, for honing my skills. The Q. family for supporting me. The NT recognition is for the fans -- we've made it!" Sepulveda said.

Everyone is excited for the all-star break. "Let's recharge and have fun!" GM Nicolo maro exclaimed.

The Holster Feature: PPL: The First Score (Part 1)

The Holster Headquarters
19:02

For BuzzerBeater managers, the goal for each season is to win in whatever division they are in. The ultimate goal however, is to reach the top flight – the best league in the country. And for Pilipinas BB managers, it can be translated into three simple letters – PPL.

Amongst the thousands of teams in the country (although less than a thousand are active), only 16 teams have the privilege to compete in the highest level of basketball in Pilipinas BB. And for 20 seasons, the league has seen the competition increase, as well as the development of rivalries, the establishment and deterioration of dynasties and every significant game in between. This feature attempts to look at the history of the PPL as we look back on its 20 seasons.

The Early Seasons

When the PPL opened shop during BB’s Season 3, although the league was yet to be as popular to the fanbase as it is now, provided thrilling games as evidenced by the very first PPL game, when a Rosauro Tupas three-pointer off a Hansen Suguilon won the game for Air 21 Express as they escaped the CNU Yellow Marooners, 87-84 in an arena containing of only 632 people. The game would serve as the preview of the eventual title holders as the Express went all the way to win the inaugural championship, trouncing the RED ROBINS in two games.

But the Express victory would prove to be a one-time deal as they only managed to finish fifth the next season, which saw the rise of the Ateneo Jologs to the top of the PPL, upsetting favorites Celestial Fury in a momentum swinging, three game series after the latter had won all but one of their elimination round games.

The First Rivalry

Yes, when we are given our new BB team or when we get promoted to a higher division, we do get to have assigned rivals. But there is no denying that there were two rival teams in the early seasons of the PPL that wrestled with the League title, these were the TrailBlazers United and Jubas Beasts – the first PPL rivalry.

It began in Season 5 when the two teams met in the Finals that season. Although the first two games were blowout wins by each team, the third game was a nail-biter as TrailBlazers United, who were trailing most of the game, used a furious fourth-quarter run to win the title. This would start a back-and-forth between the two teams over the PPL title starting the next season as they faced off again in the Championship Round. This time, the series went to Jubas Beasts via sweep, but not without some late-game drama as the title-clinching game went down the wire as Amante Iratagotia made up for the shooting foul he had committed in a previous play by connecting on an elbow jumper with 30 ticks remaining.

Season 7, they meet again as they look to even the score between the two of them. Having split the last two titles between the two of them it was logical to have an informal “tiebreaker”. The series went the distance yet again, and the rubber match did not disappoint. However, Jubas Beasts managed to execute better in the end game as they kept United at bay to secure their second League championship. The win made them the very first repeat champions in PPL history.

But just as they were looking to establish a dynasty in the PPL, they were shut down by United in their fourth Finals matchup in as many seasons. Although the first game was won by United by a close margin, 107-103, the second game became a shellacking of the reigning champions as their grasp of the title melted right before their eyes. Game 2 ended 147-107, with eight United players scoring in double figures. This Season 8 Finals series would prove to be the last time they would be meeting in the grand stage.

The Holster Feature: PPL: The First Score (Part 2)

The Holster Headquarters
20:28

The First Dynasty

When Season 9 rolled along, pundits and fellow managers alike conceded that another TrailBlazers United – Jubas Beasts final will commence. And it looked that way after the elimination round, with the two teams topping their conferences, not to mention that United actually had an unbeaten run in the eliminations. And just as United looked poised to make it to the big dance for the fifth straight season, United were stopped on their tracks by ribonucleic acid, a team that has been banging on the door for the last three seasons prior, and had finally won against United in a heated semifinal battle. On the other side, Jubas Beasts won the Great 8 Conference to set up the showdown with ribonucleic acid. The two teams exchanged big wins over the other during the first two games, but in the decider, it was clear as to who the better team really was; the Beasts trounced acid, 91-78 to claim their third title in four seasons.

But the loss by acid was just a sign of things – big things, to come.

The following season, ribonucleic acid topped the Big 8 with 19 wins and three losses. And in the semifinal, he reaffirmed his mastery over TrailBlazers United with a resounding 127-117 victory. In the final, he faced remedial kings, a fast-rising newcomer who in just his very first season in the top flight has amassed 19 wins to top the Great 8 Conference for themselves. The experience factor proved to be the difference as acid defeated the kings via sweep to win their first PPL title.

They would face again next season as the kings defeated yet again United in a blowout. In the same season, Jubas Beasts would only manage to reach .500 in win percentage. Remedial kings would provide a stiffer competition this time around. They put up a great effort in Game 2 after getting trounced bigtime in Game 1, but still, ultimately falling short as they lose the rubber match, 94-89, to give acid their second straight title.

The next season, acid was determined to become the first three-peat champion in the PPL. But in order to do so, they had to face another newcomer in The Social Climbers, as they literally climbed the ladder all the way to the finals in just their first stint, knocking off remedial kings in a blowout semifinal. A three-game series ensued, but the defending champs eventually made it three in a row, the first in the PPL. There was little doubt in everyone’s minds that ribonucleic acid is now a dynasty.

The quest for their fourth straight PPL title ensued, and they found themselves squared up against The Social Climbers for the second straight season. Unlike their first encounter, however, it was a relatively easier affair for acid as they swept the Climbers via a 104-85 shellacking in the clincher.

Season 14 saw acid win just 16 games, but still manage to nab the #1 seed in the Big 8. On the other side, the Climbers had 17 wins and the Great 8 top seed. And just as everyone wanted to see a third series between the two teams, remedial kings barges back into the picture, defeating the Climbers, 124-110. But the kings’ return to the Finals ended up being a rude awakening. Still unable to finish the deal, the kings got swept by acid yet again for acid's fifth straight PPL championship.

With the win, ribonucleic acid had solidified it status as the best team in the Philippines and the gold standard for all other Pilipinas BB teams to try and grab.

Philippines VS. IRAN

Hello everyone this is PH-Nz bringing you the fresh news all over the nation of Philippine Basketball! The game really did go down the wire as the Filipinos surprised the Iranians on the end game and forcing its way to the overtime, where they know they had a better chance of winning and luckily for us they were sure as hell and right out of the gates they stormed and cruise to a 94 - 82 victory.


You have just been DISPOsed..
credits to sir mokong

This is just one of the few words that were said by the people around me during the game and for my own thought this might stick all throughout his career.

After getting changed on their locker, we were glad to have dispo cornered as he is going out of the building to get home.. and luckily for us he agreed to answer a few questions.

Nz: Great game you had there tonight, scoring 10pts (5-8 FG), grabbing 4 rebs in only 17 minutes of play. What could you say about that?

Dispo: I think played good.. i think i just played our plan and listened to coach cezzz.. at siguro dahil na rin sa masarap na luto ngayon ni INDAY. lol.

Nz: Napatawa mo ako dun, Siguro naman aware ka sa mga issue na lumalabas ngayon regarding you and Dabandan, is there something about the issue that made you to be so motivated in this game?

Dispo: Nah, wala naman... media yan eh.. syempre gagawin nila lahat para lang lumaki issue sila kase dun rin naman sila kumikita ng pera kaya ok lang sken.. i understand them naman.. basta para saken alam ko na nasa tama ako.

Nz: How about yung sinabi ni Dabandan na marami ka pa daw kakaining rice bowl bago mo siya makatapat sa level ng laro?

Dispo: Wala naman saken un.. sinama ko nalang sa motivation ko yung sinabi niya about saken, pero minsan naniniwala rin ako sa karma..

Nz: Ah medyo superstitious ka din pala, Eh anong masasabe mo sa 0 - 10 FG 1 point in 36 minutes of play?

Dispo: Ayun na karma nga ata agad.. pero no offense siguro talagang mahirap lang nakatapat niya at siguro returning game jitters lang dahil matagal na rin siyang hinde nakakalaro sa NT. Mataas respeto ko kay Dabandan at willing akong matuto sa kanya if tuturuan niya man ako..

Nz: Good to hear that! Last question kung ikaw si Coach Cezzz ano masasabi mo kay Dabandan during the game?

Dispo: Kagaya ng Tweet ni Kobe kay Pau Gasol "get (your) ass on the block and don't move (until you) get it"

Nz: Salamat Dispo! And this is PH - Nz boxing out! SEE YAHHH!

Last edited by Don Manoah at 4/22/2013 8:40:51 AM

Reporters caught Dabandan while waiting for his flight back to Ukraine. He gamely answered all questions the throng of reporters had for him.

"Dispo was very modest today and even complimented you and was even seen offering an olive branch in his interview by saying he wanted to learn from the best if you are willing to teach him." asked a lady reporter from Philstar.

"I really have no quarrel with Dispo himself. It's good to hear from him instead of that lame manager of his Huck Finn. It's that lame egoistic manager of his who seems to be stirring up things always. If Dispo wants to learn from the best I am happy to tutor him. My days in the NT squad are numbered. I'm a realist so if I get to play a few more seasons in the NT then its already a blessing in disguise."


"But he also said something about karma of you shooting 0-10 last night. What do you say about that statement?" a reporter from PDI quickly butted in.

"Look I'm more known as a defender look at the opposing SF's and see their shooting percentage. If it were not for my superb defense we would have lost this game. Dispo in all his "immaturity" needs to understand that its the little things aside from scoring that makes you a valuable asset to your team. Some of those little things don't show up in the stat line. A little shove a little stare at your opponent can sometimes be a big difference in a game. Not bragging but opponents usually are already wary and scared of me when I'm the one guarding them. Yo Dispo remember that."

"And one last thing while I appreciate Boss Cezzz of giving me a chance to play in the NT again the reality is he only recruited me because most of our better players had very bad game shape including Abada and Crisostomo which were nowhere to be found yesterday. If the "future star" of our NT had enough talent to man the starting SF spot I wouldn't even be in our NT lineup this season. But still a big thank you to Boss Cezzz for finally making me a part of the NT squad."

"You are afraid Manager Cezzz will put you in the doghouse for that statement of yours?" a shocked reporter from Rappler asked.

"I think I've earned the right to say what I want to say with all the that I have given for our country. Whether he likes it or not he is stuck with me until the end of the season. He can't afford to kick me out of the NT squad (makes funny faces). So he will have to endure my not so nice comments whenever I see something wrong with the NT squad. Well in fact it just popped into my mind I should organize the veteran like minded players in our NT squad as a cohesive unit so that we can teach these young guns how to play well and give some friendly advice to our esteemed manager when we see fit."

"So that does this group of veterans include Pelasco who is the senior member of this squad?" asked another reporter from Bandila.

"Don't even start with me on our guards because we won't even finish this interview. Look my flight is boarding now I wish I could answer more questions but the sad fact is I'm flying commercial because our NT manager is too cheap to provide me with a private plane going back to Ukraine. But rest assured you will hear from the veterans group of our NT should very very soon" said Dabandan with a very evil smirk as he walked away.

The Holster Feature: PPL: The First Score (Part 3)

A Second Dynasty Rises

The hunt for ribonucleic acid’s sixth straight championship was relatively harder. Although managing to nab the second seed of the Big 8 Conference behind Healthcare Providers, they only won 13 games and won the seeding via tiebreaker against kids next door. By this time, the Great 8 Conference was getting fierce by the rounds. The remedial kings had finally won the first seed after gaining 19 wins. The former #1 seed The Social Climbers ended up being a measly fourth seed after only managing to reach .500 after 22 elimination round games. They got trounced by the kings in their playoff matchup before defeating Swapings to reach the final. For ribonucleic acid, a dominant performance in the playoff versus kids next door and a defensive struggle versus Healthcare Providers booked their Finals ticket. Unlike their last Finals meeting, the first two games were split between the two teams. But a determined kings team finally dethroned their rivals, 118-109 in the rubber match to end ribonucleic acid’s five-season stranglehold of the League and win their very first PPL title.

The kings’ title defense saw them winning 20 elimination round games to reap the #1 seed in the Great 8. But on the other side, an obviously-determined ribonucleic acid was ready to make a push to return to the top, winning 21 games to top the Big 8 side. Their dominant playoff performances led to their fifth Finals meeting in seven seasons, the most number of times that two teams met in the PPL Big Dance. But as much as ribonucleic acid was able to be a worthy contender, seemingly stronger remedial kings swept the series following a 101-90 victory, winning their second title. The series marked the last time that these two teams would meet in the Finals with their same franchise name.

For the chase for their third title, the remedial kings would face a newcomer in the Finals. Barging out of the gates from the get-go, MaGuiNdAnAo wArLoRd won the Big 8 conference with 17 wins. The kings would cruise through the playoffs while wArLoRd would have a tougher outing but still managed to make it to the big dance. After being overwhelmed by the kings in Game 1, 89-71, wArLoRd put up a better fight in Game 2 but still fell short as theyfailed to make the cut, 99-94, securing the kings’ three-peat.

When Season 18 rolled along, pundits wanted to see if wArLoRd can repeat what they did the prior season. Unfortunately, they only won 12 games and the #4 seed in the Big 8. They lost in the Conference Semifinal against eventual Finalist memongs, 110-95, who also won against kids next door to become the third challenger to the reign of the remedial kings. After a Game 1 shellacking of memongs, it looked like the challengers were to just roll down and die. Game 2 saw both teams just rack up the scoreboards point after point. All of a sudden, a Benito Lanzas Manzanares three-pointer with eight seconds to go capped the game as memongs were able to even the series, 139-137. But as the series shifted back to the king arena, the inevitable truth was realized as a 115-92 scoreline for the kings sealed their fourth straight PPL championship.

The Holster Feature: PPL: The First Score (Part 4)

Change of name, Change of fate

While their rivals remedial kings were building a dynasty of their own, former powerhouse ribonucleic acid was starting to decline. After seven straight Finals appearances, they only managed to place fifth in Season 17. By Season 18, they changed their franchise to Celestial Wrath in the hopes of turning the tides. But their performance that season was two games worse than the last, standing at .500 and at fifth place.

Then the jump came at Season 19, when they won the Big 8 Conference #1 seed with 19 wins and secured a finals seat with relatively easy wins against kids next door and zenningš. They faced the remedial kings, who were still riding high as the league’s gold standard. Celestial Wrath saw themselves absolutely outmatched by the kings in Game 1, 101-81. This led to a tanked Game 2, handing the remedial kings their fifth straight title, via a 25-0 forfeiture that saw only three players from the kings and two players from Celestial Wrath take the floor, a pretty awkward way to win the fifth title for remedial kings, a game that will forever live in infamy for those who witnessed it.

RK’s Final title and decline

The final successful championship defense of the remedial kings came in Season 20 at the expense of the Pampanga Dragons, who rose to the top in just their second season in the PPL. A three-game series tested the five-time champions. But they ultimately reached the top once again as they defeated the Dragons, 104-100 through superstar Charlie Pelesco’s 40 points as well as weathering the double-digit scoring outputs of five of the Dragons’ players, led by Gregorio Rosal’s 26 points. The win secured their sixth straight title, the most consecutive titles in PPL history exceeding ribonucleic acid’s five straight and the most titles in PPL.

Season 21 saw the tides of the PPL shift almost immediately. The competition became fierce, especially in the Great 8 Conference. After nine Finals appearances, including seven straight, and six consecutive PPL titles, breaking almost every standing record up to that point, remedial kings would see their seventh straight title hopes go awry as they only managed to win 16 games and the fourth seed in the Great 8 Conference. They were eliminated in the Conference Semifinal by Another Round, who won the #1 seed only by tiebreaker after three teams ended the elimination round with 17 wins. Another Round eventually won the title that season, defeating the Manila Bombers via sweep, highlighted by a squeaker of a victory in Game 2, 101-98.

The 20th staging of the PPL, amidst the fierce competition, saw two main stories unfold, both bearing the nature of revenge. The remedial kings would attempt a comeback to the top in season 22, winning 16 games which were good enough to win the Great 8 #1 seed. They were to face again Celestial Wrath, who were also on their own path to redemption after only winning 12 games and losing the tiebreaker for the #4 seed to memongs the season before. But unlike the fate of their previous franchise name, Celestial Wrath ceased the moment to avenge their ribonucleic roots, winning the series in convincing fashion, sweeping the kings in two games.