All Press Releases

Eclypze Announcer Suffers Seizure Trying to Pronounce Names

2/25/2014  1 replies    

Steve Williams Terrorizing Cup Opponents

1/10/2014  0 replies    

Despite Poor Start, Smedlock Insists Future is Bright

10/13/2013  0 replies    

Fans Accuse Eugene Smith of Ballhogging in Playoff Loss

5/31/2013  1 replies    

Elar Hell Breaks Loose

1/3/2013  2 replies    

Eugene Smith Emerging As a Superstar

8/17/2012  3 replies    

Bulgarian Imports Seek to Make Big Impact

4/28/2012  1 replies    

14,000 Fans Turn Out at The Q to Watch Exciting Duo

3/10/2012  0 replies    

New Rookie Joins Team

2/6/2012  4 replies    

Connie Mcintyre Changes Jersey Number

2/1/2012  0 replies    

Back to the Drawing Board

1/24/2012  5 replies    

Super Team Assembled; Let the Winning Commence

11/7/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Trounced by Underdog Team in Playoffs

10/26/2011  2 replies    

The Nemesis Inducted into Eclypze Hall of Fame

8/10/2011  4 replies    

Forward Search Update

8/3/2011  0 replies    

Smedlock Looks to Acquire Star Forward

7/30/2011  0 replies    

Team Looks to Regroup After Disappointing Playoff Loss

7/23/2011  0 replies    

The Nemesis Decides to Take His Talents to South Beach

5/25/2011  4 replies    

Smedlock Answers Charges of Cult-Like Practices at Training Center

5/9/2011  1 replies    

Connie McIntyre Puts Up Huge Stats in Season 15

4/13/2011  4 replies    

Fans Very Excited About New Player to Join Team

3/1/2011  0 replies    

Terrible Performance By Team Against the Tornados

2/23/2011  0 replies    

Eclypze Owner Shifts Gears Again

2/15/2011  0 replies    

Fans Exasperated At Owner Selling Off Players Again

2/10/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins Title; Nemesis Wins MVP

1/11/2011  1 replies    

The Nemesis Reacts to All-Star Snub By Blowing Up for 42 Points!

11/28/2010  0 replies    

Australian Superstar Adam Laulala Joins Eclypze

11/9/2010  0 replies    

Farewell Juan Kern

10/24/2010  0 replies    

Serial Eyebrow Shaver on the Loose!

10/13/2010  1 replies    

Who Shaved Kern's Eyebrows?

9/20/2010  0 replies    

Rookie Nemesio Xermade Beasting Over the Competition

9/7/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Files Lawsuit Against Eugene Register Guard

9/1/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Attacks Rookie With a Knife, Sent off to Finland

8/10/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins The Trophy!

6/30/2010  0 replies    

Spiritual Guru From India Hired as Trainer

5/29/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Requests Trade

5/1/2010  0 replies    

Star Rookie Horacio Unites with Long Lost Brother Barbu

3/5/2010  7 replies    

Press Announcements

The Nemesis Reacts to All-Star Snub By Blowing Up for 42 Points!

Earlier this week, Division 4.41 held all-star activities. Eclypze fans were stunned when they learned that Nemesio "The Nemesis" Xermade didn't make the team, in fact not one Eclypze player made the team despite having the best record in the league. The Nemesis went into all-star break averaging 19 points, 12 rebounds, and 2 steals, all among league leaders, to go with 3 assists per game. He led Eclypze to wins night in and night out and a league best 12-2 record despite playing on a roster depleted of depth and talent. Yet the all-star committee president led by Barbu Popescu (13015254) , the gypsy brother of former Eclypze superstar Horacio Saiz Perez (11856360) (see earlier press release for information about these players), felt Nemesio wasn't worthy. Nemesio is now playing with a chip on his shoulder and blew up Saturday night for 42 points, 7 rebounds and 4 steals.

Some see this as an act of revenge by Barbu. Barbu didn't take too kindly at being shipped off to New Zealand, away from his brother Horacio, several seasons ago. When Barbu retired he came back to the states to serve as the commissioner of Division 4.41, precisely the same division that Eclypze was demoted to this season. How Barbu, an illiterate gypsy from Romania who is known for bouts of drunkeness and violence and who can barely speak English landed the commissioner gig is unknown. Many believe he pursued this position solely for revenge against Eclypze, since the job doesn't pay much. In fact homeless Eclypze veteran Connie McItyrie is paid more at $825 a week. More news about this situation will be presented as it becomes available.

Last edited by smedlock at 11/28/2010 8:46:01 PM

Last edited by smedlock at 11/28/2010 9:41:25 PM
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