All Press Releases

Eclypze Announcer Suffers Seizure Trying to Pronounce Names

2/25/2014  1 replies    

Steve Williams Terrorizing Cup Opponents

1/10/2014  0 replies    

Despite Poor Start, Smedlock Insists Future is Bright

10/13/2013  0 replies    

Fans Accuse Eugene Smith of Ballhogging in Playoff Loss

5/31/2013  1 replies    

Elar Hell Breaks Loose

1/3/2013  2 replies    

Eugene Smith Emerging As a Superstar

8/17/2012  3 replies    

Bulgarian Imports Seek to Make Big Impact

4/28/2012  1 replies    

14,000 Fans Turn Out at The Q to Watch Exciting Duo

3/10/2012  0 replies    

New Rookie Joins Team

2/6/2012  4 replies    

Connie Mcintyre Changes Jersey Number

2/1/2012  0 replies    

Back to the Drawing Board

1/24/2012  5 replies    

Super Team Assembled; Let the Winning Commence

11/7/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Trounced by Underdog Team in Playoffs

10/26/2011  2 replies    

The Nemesis Inducted into Eclypze Hall of Fame

8/10/2011  4 replies    

Forward Search Update

8/3/2011  0 replies    

Smedlock Looks to Acquire Star Forward

7/30/2011  0 replies    

Team Looks to Regroup After Disappointing Playoff Loss

7/23/2011  0 replies    

The Nemesis Decides to Take His Talents to South Beach

5/25/2011  4 replies    

Smedlock Answers Charges of Cult-Like Practices at Training Center

5/9/2011  1 replies    

Connie McIntyre Puts Up Huge Stats in Season 15

4/13/2011  4 replies    

Fans Very Excited About New Player to Join Team

3/1/2011  0 replies    

Terrible Performance By Team Against the Tornados

2/23/2011  0 replies    

Eclypze Owner Shifts Gears Again

2/15/2011  0 replies    

Fans Exasperated At Owner Selling Off Players Again

2/10/2011  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins Title; Nemesis Wins MVP

1/11/2011  1 replies    

The Nemesis Reacts to All-Star Snub By Blowing Up for 42 Points!

11/28/2010  0 replies    

Australian Superstar Adam Laulala Joins Eclypze

11/9/2010  0 replies    

Farewell Juan Kern

10/24/2010  0 replies    

Serial Eyebrow Shaver on the Loose!

10/13/2010  1 replies    

Who Shaved Kern's Eyebrows?

9/20/2010  0 replies    

Rookie Nemesio Xermade Beasting Over the Competition

9/7/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Files Lawsuit Against Eugene Register Guard

9/1/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Attacks Rookie With a Knife, Sent off to Finland

8/10/2010  2 replies    

Eclypze Wins The Trophy!

6/30/2010  0 replies    

Spiritual Guru From India Hired as Trainer

5/29/2010  0 replies    

Horacio Requests Trade

5/1/2010  0 replies    

Star Rookie Horacio Unites with Long Lost Brother Barbu

3/5/2010  7 replies    

Press Announcements

Connie McIntyre Puts Up Huge Stats in Season 15

Season 15 was rather uneventful for the Eclypze ball club. The Nemesis continued improving his skills and GM Smedlock made many roster changes like he normally does. The team finished in 5th place, fulfilling Smedlock's goal this season of "not to relegate". All is well in Eclypze land, but behind this picture of serenity, one force is taking shape and it is a seismic one. It is none other than Connie McIntyre, the highly coveted 6th man on the Eclypze squad. Likened to a poor man's Michael Jordan, whom he shares the same number 23, McIntyre had a banner year. He recorded 5/5/5 this year, in other words he averaged a half of a triple double, or 5 points, 5 rebounds and 5 turnovers per game this season, the first ever member of the Eclypze to reach that vaunted milestone.

Asked how he accomplished such a feat while earning only $746 a week, Connie had this to say, "WTF man, my salary doesn't make me a better basketball player! I can ball as good as anyone on this team, I put up 5/5/5 this year. All of those fools out there who think salary makes a good basketball player, I tell them just look at me, the great Connie McIntyre who averages half of a triple double. There's guys in this league who make 100 times what I do every week and cannot even do that. Matter of fact I plan on improving next year and taking Eclypze to the promised land, that's right, Title Town."

Eclypze fans will have to wait and see if Connie's bite is louder than his bark, but one thing is for sure, everyone who is in league III.6 or about to set foot there, beware of the great Connie McIntyre.




Last edited by smedlock at 4/13/2011 11:44:35 PM

Last edited by smedlock at 4/13/2011 11:46:00 PM




By: INA-Hassan Donnelly_295
To: INA-smedlock_995
88481.2 as reply to 88481.1
4/19/2011 7:51:33 PM
he shoots a mean free throw, too. but 10 turnovers in a game is something he will be able to tell his grandchildren about, and judging from his age, which should be in about one more season. connie is the man (with a girl's name, which makes him even more the man).

Reply to this     
By: INA-Mjsmooth14_667
To: INA-smedlock_995
88481.3 as reply to 88481.1
4/20/2011 9:50:27 PM
when the dust settles im going to win the championship( single handedly)

Reply to this     
By: Jason
To: INA-smedlock_995
88481.4 as reply to 88481.1
4/25/2011 6:17:58 PM
Looking forward to seeing how season 16 plays out for you!! If your conference is not as strong as you are thinking, its going to be really tempting to go for it!

Reply to this     
By: INA-Sindy_539
To: INA-smedlock_995
88481.5 as reply to 88481.1
4/26/2011 10:14:45 AM
Made me laugh. Crazy. Thanks :)

Reply to this     

View message in thread.
Advertisement